Lyrics
by OhGodsPoorNico
Summary: Also known as In Which Niff Had a Song prepared for every situation.Chapter 26- Blaine Isn't For Sale
1. Klaine Kiss

**Original song**

Nick peered thought the peephole to the junior commons room. "Jeff!" he whispered frantically. Jeff turned around so fast Nick swore he might have gotten a whiplash. "They're in here! Blaine looks as if he is about to give Kurt 'The Speech'."

Oh, Nick knew that speech like his first language. Blaine had prepared in the night before, and practiced it (more than twenty times, Nick was sure) in front of him and Jeff.

Over, and over, and over again.

And then once more for good measure.

So when Kurt asked a shy "Why did you pick me to do that duet with?" Nick and Jeff knew what was coming.

Blaine scooted his chair closer to Kurt's. "Kurt," he started, completely oblivious to the fact that Nick and Jeff were mouthing along with him less than 10 yards away. "There is a moment, when you say to yourself, 'Oh, there you are'," He took a deep breath. "I've been looking for you forever."

Despite having heard this multiple times, Nick and Jeff silently _Aww'ed_. They were just too cute!

Kurt looked absolutely shocked, but Blaine wasn't going to stop there. "Watching you sing Blackbird this week was that moment for me, about you. You," Blaine looked like he was struggling for the right word, which was strange considering he could recite that speech in his sleep.

Actually, he had; Nick and Jeff had heard him mumbling it in his sleep last night. "Move me, Kurt," Blaine continued strongly. "And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you."

With that, he leaned in and kissed Kurt. Nick and Jeff almost squealed, but clapped a hand over the other's mouth simultaneously.

After a few seconds, they pulled apart. "We should practice," Blaine said sheepishly. Nick facepalmed.

"I thought we were," Kurt said a little breathlessly. "Sneaky, Kurt! " Jeff whispered into Nick's ear. Nick nodded, his eyes glued to the couple. Thank goodness for large peepholes!

Blaine smashed their lips together hungrily. Suddenly, Nick elbowed Jeff, and then nodded. "It's time," he said solemnly.

Jeff pulled his guitar out of nowhere. He opened the door silently and slipped into the room. Nick followed closely behind him.

Jeff played a few bars on his guitar, and Nick started singing.

_"Sparks fly,"_ he started softly._ "It's like electricity. I might die, when I forget how to breathe!"_

Blaine and Kurt broke apart, annoyance clearly stamped onto their faces. That didn't stop Nick and Jeff, however.

_"You get closer, and there's nowhere in this world I'd rather be."_

Jeff joined in with Nick for the chorus. "_Cause when I'm kissing you my senses come alive," they sang together in perfect harmony._

_"Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find,_

_Falls right into place, you're all that it takes,_" Nick and Jeff pointed and the newly formed couple.

_"My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you."_ With that, Nick and Jeff backed out of the room, still singing.

"_Past loves, they never got really far,_

_Especially Gap Guy, his hair was really bizarre,_

_And Finn, he's now your kith and kin!"_ Kurt and Blaine looked mildly offended, but relieved that they had left the room.

_"When I'm kissing you!"_ Nick and Jeff ran back into the room, so they could exit out the other door.

Or not.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Song is "Kissin' You"<strong> **by Miranda Cosgrove. I edited it a bit, though. Obviously. Ideas for what situations Niff should sing about are always welcome.**


	2. Stealing Wes's Gavel

Nick and Jeff peered into the peephole of Wes's room. "Do you think he'll leave soon?" Jeff whispered.

"Why are we whispering?" Whispered Nick back.

Jeff shrugged, and pulled a ham and cheese sandwich out of his blazer.

"Wha- but- why- oh, never mind!" Nick stuttered. Jeff looked mildly offended.

"Are you questioning my mad skills of pulling food out of nowhere?" Jeff challenged. Just to prove his point, he pulled a pack of redvines (what can't they do?) out of his underwear.

Nick just looked grossed out. Wes, of course, chose that moment to walk out the door. Nick quickly stared walking, opening the pack of redvines as he did so, casually nibbling on them, and forcing Jeff to follow in suit.

"Dude," Jeff whined. "You owe me some redvines. Those were my last ones!" Nick shook his head at his partner-in-crime's antics.

"Let's just get this over with before Wes comes back," Nick said, frustrated.

They quickly walked back to room 405, and caught the door just before it closed. 'Thank goodness for slowly closing doors,' Nick thought.

They closed the door behind them, and went straight to the back of the room where they knew Wes kept his most prized possession. Enclosed, and obviously newly polished, lay Teresa, Wes's gavel.

Jeff slowly took off the lid and cradled Teresa in his arms.

"Guys," said David slowly. "What are you doing with Wes's gavel?"

Nick and Jeff turned around very quickly. "Where did you come from?" Jeff asked.

"Um, the bathroom?" David stated. Jeff then pulled a ukulele out of who knows where and began to strum. Nick started singing, much to the surprise of David.

_"This here's a story about Nicky D and Jeffie S_

_Two young friends with nothin' better to do_

_Than sit around the dorms, study, and watch YouTube_

_And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose._" Jeff took over for the next verse, handing Nick the ukelele.

_"They headed down to, ooh, room 405_

_That's where they ran into a great big doom_

_Nicky D shot a man while robbing his room_

_Jeffie S took the gavel and run,_" Nick joined in again.

_"Go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run,"_ Jeff ran out the door with Teresa. Nick continued singing.

_"Jeffie S whoa, whoa, he slipped away_

_Nicky D caught up to him the very next day_

_They got the gavel, hey_

_You know they got away_," Nick started backing out of the room, very slowly.

_"They headed downstairs and they're still running today_

_Singin' go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run_

_Go on take the gavel and run_," Nick suddenly turned and started running after Jeff.

David just blinked. You'd think that he would have gotten used to them by now but...

That was not the case at all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For a prompt by an-artist-at-work: "Stealing Wes's Gavel". Song is <em>Take The Money and Run<em> by Steve Miller**. **Once again, with changes.**

**Remember: prompts are always welcome!  
><strong>


	3. First Date

Part three: Klaine's first date: First Date ~Blink-182

Blaine drove down Whitman Avenue, eagerly awaiting his date with Kurt. 'First date!' his mind cheered excitedly. Kurt... Blaine just loved everything about him.

"I really do like Kurt, don't I?" Blaine asked himself aloud.

"I dunno, mate," Jeff said casually, biting off a chunk of Redvine.

*SCREECH*. Blaine almost drove the car into a tree. "Nick! Jeff!" He screamed. "What in the name of HARRY POTTER are you doing, IN MY CAR, before my DATE with Kurt?"

Nick replied, by pressing play on the CD player. The beginning notes of a semi-familiar song echoed off the windows of the car. Jeff started singing.

_"In the car I just can't wait_

To pick you up on our very first date

Is it cool if I hold your hand?

Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?

Do you like my stupid hair?"

Blaine self-consciously reached up to touch his helmet of hair-gel. "My hair isn't stupid," he muttered quietly. Nick and Jeff just ignored him, the former taking over for the next part of the song.

"_Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?"_

"Yes!" Jeff interjected. Blaine shot him a deadly glance but Jeff once again ignored him.

"_I'm just scared of what you think_

You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Let's go

Don't wait

This nights almost beginning

Honest, let's make

This night last forever,"

Blaine started to drive again, a bit slower than normal. After all, he needed to get to Kurt's on time.

_"Forever and ever_

Let's make this night last forever

Forever and ever

Let's make this night last forever!"

Jeff joined in for the next part.

"_When you smile, I melt inside_

I'm not worthy for a minute of your time

I really wish it was only me and you

_I'm jealous of everybody in the room_

Please don't look at me with those eyes

Please don't hint that you're capable of lies

I dread the thought of our third and fourth kiss

A target that I'm probably gonna miss."

"Hey!" Blaine cried, looking offended. He drove into Kurt's driveway and put the breaks on.

_"Let's go_

Don't wait

This nights almost over

Honest, let's make

_  
>This night last forever<em>," Kurt opened the car door and stepped into the front seat. "What are they doing here?" Kurt whispered to Blaine. Blaine just shrugged.  
><em><br>"Forever and ever_

_Let's make this night last forever_

Forever and ever

Let's make this night last forever

Let's go!" Nick and Jeff shouted, then threw open the car door and bolted into the night.

"Do I even want to know?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head.

"No," he replied honestly. "No, you don't."

*Meanwhile three driveways down and behind a shrub*

"Hey Nick," Jeff said.

"Yeah?"

"How are we going to get back to Dalton?"

"...Should have though of that one."

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><p><strong>AN: Song is "First Date" by Blink-182. This time, with no changes. Those were actually the right lyrics! Song ideas and scenarios always welcome.<strong>


	4. First Duet

**Part Four- Celebrating the Klaine duet: Sing ~My Chemical Romance. Ignoring the fact that Pavoratti was buried.**

* * *

><p>Wes concluded the Warblers meeting by asking all Warblers for their opinion. "All in favor of Kurt and Blaine singing a duet for regionals?"<p>

Every single hand went up.

"It's settled." Nick and Jeff started clapping like there was no tomorrow. After a few moments, Nick stood up. "In honor of this grand, grand moment that we have all been waiting for secretly for months, Jeff and I have prepared a number for the occasion. Jeff?"

Jeff pulled a cassette tape out of his blazer and handed it to Trent, who snapped it into the player. Music streamed through the room. Nick, as usual, began to sing.

_"Sing it out_

_Blaine you've got to see what tomorrow brings_

_Sing it out_

_Kurt you've got to be what tomorrow needs_

_For every time that they want to count you out_

_Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth,"_ Jeff took over for the next part.

_"Sing it for the Warblers, sing it for the Warblers_

_Every time that you lose it sing it for the Warblers_

_Sing it from the heart_

_Sing it till you're nuts_

_Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts_

_Sing it for the deaf_

_Sing it for the blind_

_Sing about everyone that you left behind_

_Sing it for the warblers, sing it for the warblers_,"

Nick joined in.

_"Sing it out_

_Blaine they're gonna sell what tomorrow means_

_Sing it out_

_Kurt before they kill what tomorrow brings_

_You've got to, make a choice if the music drowns you out_

_Raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth_

_Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls_

_Every time that you lose it sing it for the Warblers_

_Sing it from the heart_

_Sing it till you're nuts_

_Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts_

_Sing it for the deaf_

_Sing it for the blind_

_Sing about everyone that you left behind_

_Sing it for the Warblers, sing it for the Warblers!"_

Jeff stopped singing, and started dancing to an obviously choreographed dance.

"_Cleaned-up, corporation progress_

_Dying in the process,"_

Blaine and Kurt looked over to the urn in which Pavoratti had been cremated.

_"Warblers that can talk about it_

_Living in the dorm rooms_

_People moving sideways_

_Sell it till your last days_

_Buy yourself the motivation_

_Generation nothing,_

_Nothing but a dead scene_

_Product of a bad dream_

_I am not the singer that you wanted, but a dancer,"_ Jeff did a pirouette, then a back handspring, returning to the room a moment later.

_"I refuse to answer, talk about the past, sir_

_Wrote it for the ones that want to get away._

_Keep running," Jeff started singing again._

_Sing it for the Warblers, sing it for the Warblers_

_Every time that you lose it sing it for the Warblers_

_Sing it from the heart_

_Sing it till you're nuts_

_Singing out for the ones that'll hate your guts_

_Sing it for the deaf_

_Sing it for the blind_

_Sing about everyone that you left behind_

_Sing it for the Warblers, sing it for the Warblers,_

_You've got to see what tomorrow brings_

_Sing it for the Regionals_

_Sing it for the Regionals_

_Klaine you've got to be what tomorrow needs_

_Sing it for the Regionals_

_Sing it for the Regionals!"_

The after-school bell rang at that moment, as Nick and Jeff ran out of the room to go raid the kitchens.

The Warblers sat there in shocked silence. Finally, Kurt spoke.

"Overkill much?"

* * *

><p><strong>Song and scenario suggestions always welcome. Next chapter: KLAINE CUDDLES. Question for you: Should I do Prom Queen before the 'I Love You', or after? I have the I Love You one done already, but I still need to write Prom Queen, so it might take longer to get them both published if I do Prom Queen first. Review and tell me!<br>**


	5. Kluddles!

**Part five: Kluddles: As Long as You're Mine ~Wicked**

* * *

><p>The doorbell rang. Finn opened the door to reveal a tall, blonde boy and a dark haired boy, both wearing Warblers blazers, and one of them carrying a guitar.<p>

After an awkward moment, the dark haired one finally spoke.

"Hello, Finn!" He said cheerily. "I'm Nick, and this is Jeff. We're in the Warblers with Kurt and Blaine. May we come in?" Finn only nodded.

"How do you know my name? How do you know where I live?" Finn asked, alarmed.

"Kurt told us," replied the two boys in unison. That wasn't entirely true, but Finn didn't need to know that.

"Where are Kurt and Blaine?" Jeff asked. Finn pointed downstairs.

Jeff nodded in thanks, and they headed downstairs. As they were told, Kurt and Blaine were downstairs.

They were also snuggled up on Kurt's bed, watching the Little Mermaid. Nick spotted the TV remote on a table close to the stairs that Nick and Jeff had come down.

Silently Nick grabbed the remote and muted the TV. Kurt and Blaine looked around in surprise. When Jeff started strumming the guitar, their worst fears were confirmed.

"Oh no," Kurt whispered. "We've been subjected to another Nick-and-jeff serenade! The world is testing us."

For once, it was Jeff that started singing.

_"OOOOOOOHHHHH_

_Kiss me too fiercely_

_Hold me too tight_

_I need help believing_

_You're with me tonight._

_My wildest dreamings_

_Could not foresee_

_Lying beside you_

_With you wanting me!"_ Nick began singing with him.

_"Just for this moment_

_As long as you're mine_

_I've lost all resistance_

_And crossed some borderline_

_And if it turns out_

_It's over too fast_

_I'll make every last moment last_

_As long as you're mine,"_ Jeff stopped singing and started strumming a complicated section if the song.

_"Maybe I'm brainless_

_Maybe I'm wise_

_But you've got me seeing_

_Through different eyes,"_ Nick took out a pair of glasses from his pocket and put them on.

_"Somehow I've fallen_

_Under your spell_

_And somehow I'm feeling_

_It's up that I fell,"_ Jeff took over for another solo.

_"Every moment_

_As long as your mine_

_I'll wake up my body_

_And make up for lost time,"_ Nick starts singing again.

_"Say there's no future_

_For us as a pair_

_And though I may know_

_I don't care!_

_Just for this moment_

_As long as you're mine_

_Come be how you want to_

_And see how bright we shine_

_Borrow the moonlight_

_Until it is through_

_And know I'll be here_

_Holding you_

_As long as you're mine,"_ Jeff had a look of realization on his face.

"What is it?" Nick asked.

"It's just, for the first time I feel...wicked!" Jeff exclaimed.

Without hesitation, Nick and Jeff took a bow and raced up the stairs and out the door, only pausing to wave goodbye to Finn, who was looking at them oddly.

_*downstairs*_

Blaine picked up the pair of glasses Nick and Jeff had left behind.

"How on earth did they get a hold of my glasses?"

* * *

><p><strong>Prompts and song suggestions always welcome! Next chapter: Prom Queen<br>**


	6. Prom Queen

With all eyes on Kurt, he ran out of the gym in hurt, in fear, and in tears.

Blaine ran after him. "Kurt!" He called. "Kurt! Slow down!"

Once they were out of the room, Kurt stopped running and leaned against a wall.

"Do you want to go?" Blaine asked after a few awkward moments.

"No," Kurt said. "I want to have some courage, and I will show them that they can't touch me. They can't touch us, or what we have. I will have courage!"

At that moment, Nick and Jeff ran out of the gym and into the hallway where Kurt and Blaine were sitting. They started singing together.

_"Take all their vicious words_

_And turn them into something good_

_Take all my preconceptions_

_And let the truth be understood_

_Take all my prized possessions_

_Leave only what I need_

_Take all my pieces of doubt_

_And let me be what's underneath,_" Jeff started slowly strumming a guitar.

_"Courage is when you're afraid,_

_But you keep on moving anyway_

_Courage is when you're in pain,_

_But you keep on trying anyway," Nick took over a solo, while Jeff focused on his guitar._

_"We all have excuses why_

_Living in fear something in us dies_

_Like a bird with broken wings_

_It's not how high he flies,_

_But the song he sings,"_ Jeff joined in again for the chorus.

_"Courage is when you're afraid,_

_But you keep on moving anyway_

_Courage is when you're in pain,_

_But you keep on trying anyway,_

_You keep on trying anyway,"_ Nick took the guitar, and Jeff took over with a solo.

_"It's not how many times you've been knocked down_

_It's how many times you get back up_

_Courage is when you've lost your way,_

_But you find your strength anyway," _Nick joined in with Jeff, abandoning the guitar.

_"Courage is when you're afraid_

_Courage is when it all seems gray_

_Courage is when you make a change,_

_And you keep on trying anyway_

_You keep on moving anyway_

_You keep on giving anyway_

_You keep on loving anyway,"_ Nick and Jeff ran back into the gym.

"You can do this, love," Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear.

"I know I can. You give me strength," Kurt whispered back, eyes misty with pure love.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that's done with. How many summer!Klaine chapters should I do? Ideas for songs&amp;scenarios are always welcome! Song is "Courage Is" By the Strange Familiars. Anyway: Next Chapter: Klaine says I LOVE YOU. I need a song for that, review and I will take your suggestions into consideration!<br>**


	7. I Love You

**Part six: Klaine says "I love you," -I Love You ~Celine Dion. Thank you lunargirl40!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Nick and Jeff sat in the Lima Bean on the Saturday after Kurt had come back from New York.<p>

Well, to tell the truth, they crouched in the Lima Bean. Behind a fake plant.

They had a good excuse for their actions, though. They were participation in their favorite pastime: spying on Klaine.

"...It was still amazing. I mean, I flew in a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany's, I sung on a Broadway stage-"

Kurt was cut off by a heartfelt statement from Blaine. "I love you."

Jeff pulled a compact keyboard out of his backpack. "Begin," he told Nick.

As usual, Nick and Jeff popped up from behind the plant, surprising Kurt and Blaine. Nick started singing, as Jeff started playing the miniature piano.

_"I must be crazy now_

_Maybe I dream too much_

_But when I think of you_

_I long to feel your touch,_" Nick took over the piano as Jeff started singing.

_"To whisper in your ear_

_Words that are old as time_

_Words only you would hear_

_If only you were mine,"_ Nick left the piano alone and started singing as Wes and David appeared from behind the other fake plant, harmonizing behind them.

_"I wish I could go back_

_To the very first day I saw you_

_Should've made my move when you looked in my eyes_

_'Cause by now I know that you'd feel the way that I do_

_And I'd whisper these words as you'd lie here by my side,"_ Wes and David took over as Nick resumed playing the piano and Jeff pulled out his guitar and started strumming along.

_"I love you, please say_

_You love me too, these three words_

_They could change our lives forever_

_And I promise you that we will always be together_

_Till the end of time,"_ Wes took a kid's size xylophone out of the plant they had been hiding behind, while David went back to making back-up noises. Nick had a solo next.

_"So today, I finally find the courage deep inside_

_Just to walk right up to your door_

_But my body can't move when I finally get to it_

_Just like a thousand times before,"_ Jeff, David and Wes all joined in for the final verse.

_"I love you, please say_

_You love me too, these three words,_

_They could change our lives forever_

_And I promise you that we will always be together_

_Till the end of time!"_ Nick and Jeff quickly gathered their instruments and ran out the door. Wes and David, who were not so experienced in making a quick escape, tried to move away unsuccessfully.

"I love you too," Kurt told Blaine, before turning to face the two remaining boys. "How did they manage to rope you into this?"

Before turning away to run, Wes told the two boys:

"If you can't beat them, join them!

* * *

><p><strong>Song suggestions and scenarios (especually for Summer!Klaine) are always welcome and will be used (99.99% of the time).Review or PM me anything you have. Next Chapter: Pool Fun with Klaine.<br>**


	8. Pool Klaine

**I have decided that after months (okay.. minutes) of consideration, I will let you decide a song for the First Time chapter (GASP! What is this nonsense she spouts from her trouty mouth?). So, your options are:**

**Do You Take It by the Wet Spots (yes, you're adorable and reliable but is your anus pliable… look up the lyrics, its hilarious!)**

**Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch-a me by Rocky Horror**

**Like A Virgin by Madonna**

**Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute**

**Soft Focus Sexin' by Jim Cantiello (Yes, this is a gleecap)**

**Let's Get Physical by Olivia Newton-John**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Warning: T for Teenage Desires and Perverted!Nick<strong>_

**Anyway… Here goes…**

* * *

><p>Kurt and Blaine walked, hand and hand, through Blaine's house (mansion…) and into the backyard.<p>

"Wow!" Exlaimed Kurt. "Your swimming pool is bigger than the first floor of my house!"

"Yeah," Blaine shifted, slightly uncomfortable. "Anyway, are you ready to swim?" He asked excitedly. Kurt nodded.

Blaine and Kurt each took off their shirts, trying desperately not to look at each other's bare chest, and failing miserably.

Kurt turned away from Blaine, trying to forget the supermegafoxyawesomehot image of Blaine's abdominal muscles rippling and the sun shining off of them and… Kurt gave in and turned around again.

Blaine blushed a deep burgundy color as his boyfriend turned away. He did NOT think that Kurt's back muscles were super-sexy, or that his arms were sigh-worthy, and he certainly did not think that his butt looked fantastic in his Marc by Marc Jacobs swim trunks. Or, at least, that's what he told himself.

Kurt laughed at Blaine's deep red coloring. "Come on!" he called. "Care to accompany me into your lovely, oversized pool?" He stepped onto the submerged stairs carefully, but slipped and landed face-first into the aqua water. He resurfaced moments later, completely soaked.

"See, it's not so bad!" He told Blaine, who was dangling his feel in the pool. Blaine just shrugged.

"Come on," Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's arm. Unexpecting of it, Blaine fell in on top of Kurt.

Six feet underwater, Kurt and Blaine sat at the bottom of the pool. Suddenly, Kurt grabbed Blaine's face and smashed their lips together.

*In the bushes in the Anderson's backyard, thirty seconds prior*

"Are they in?" Nick whispered into his walky-talky, his eyes glancing at the CD player hidden in the other bush.

When no reply came, Nick groaned. "Fine. Over."

"Thank you. Porcelain is in the designated area, Hobbit is yet to penetrate the boundaries. Over." Jeff heard a giggle from the other end. "What is it?"

Through bursts of uncontrolled laughter, Nick managed, "That's… What… She… Said!" Before doubling over in giggles again.

Jeff sighed. "Grow up, Nick. Over."

Nick peered between the leaves again, before grasping his walky-talky frantically. "Hobbit is in the pool, repeat, Hobbit is in the pool! Over," he cried, running out the back of his bush (he named it Winifred) and into the other bush, plugging in the CD player as he went. He sped through the leaves, grabbing a head-mike and throwing it over his baseball cap.

Jeff, on the other hand, adjusted his microphone nervously. "Here we go," he muttered to himself.

*In the pool*

If Kurt could faint from pure happiness and love, he would have already. At the bottom of a pool on a sunny-skied day, Kurt could die happy. Nothing could ruin this perfect moment.

Wait.

What was that dark-haired flash of _something _that just sped by the pool?

*Outside*

"As soon as they resurface, cue the music," Jeff whispered into the walky-talky. He heard a faint "I got it, Jeff," from the other end, and resumed his pacing. _Any moment now…_

*In the pool*

Blaine could feel his lungs burning, but he would give anything to stay like that for just another moment. Sadly, he had to give in to his respiratory system, motioning for Kurt to come up with him.

As the happy couple broke the surface, swimming towards the stairs, Blaine noticed a brunette boy wearing… leather?

_Who wears leather on a 90__F day, anyway? _Blaine thought. He wasn't given much time to think, however, as music began to play from a speakerphone and a blonde boy wearing a white collared shirt and loose white pants emerged from the bushes.

"Oh god, what are _they _doing here?" Kurt groaned. Only then did Blaine realize that he knew these two boys very, _very _well.

_"Summer lovin' had me a blast,"_ sang Nick.

_"Summer lovin' happened so fast,"_ Jeff began singing too.

_"I met a boy crazy for me_

_Met a boy cute as can be_

_Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights,"_ With that, the Warblers came out of the bushes on Klaine's right, and the New Directions came out of the ones to their left. "Oh god, what did they _do_?" Gasped Kurt in horror.

Everyone started singing. "_Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh."_

The Warblers took over. _"Tell me more, tell me more,"  
><em>  
><em>"Did you get very far?"<em>sang Wes and David together.

_"Tell me more, tell me more,"_the New Directions joined in.

_"Like does he have a car?"_Rachel and Tina sang.

_"Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh."_

_"He swam by me, he got a cramp_," Nick explained.

_"He ran by me, got my suit damp,_" Nick whistled at the end, earning a slap-on-the-arm from Jeff.

_"I saved his life, he nearly drowned,"_ Nick glared at Jeff.

_"He showed off, splashing around,"_

Nick and Jeff sang together. "_Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights."_

The New Directions, Warblers, Nick and Jeff all sang the last few lines.

"_Summer heat, boy and boy meet, but uh-oh those summer nights,"_ The New Directions quickly ran out through the backyard gates, followed by the Warblers. Nick and Jeff, however, ran to the bushes where the CD player was sitting, grabbed it, and ran into the bushes again.

Blaine ran after them into the bushes, only to be met by leaves and a single blue flip-flop. He came back out to Kurt.

"You know, they have to be somewhere," Kurt said, as if trying to reassure himself that Nick and Jeff hadn't vanished into thin air.

*Inside the trapdoor behind the bushes*

"Say, Nick, have you seen my other flip-flop anywhere?"

* * *

><p><strong>Review and tell me how you think Nick and Jeff recruited the warblers and NDs, or how they knew about the trapdoor! I know you're curious<br>**


	9. Klaine Meets!

**Well... Here it is! Song is Slow Motion by Karina Pasian. For once, I didn't edit the lyrics at all! Yay me!**

**On a different note, has anyone seen Santana and Slutpig (*cough* Sebastian *cough*)'s version of Smooth Criminal? GAAAH! It was awesome. Go check it out. Now.**

**What do you think Nick and Jeff's first serenade ever was? Before Klaine came to exist? Review and let me know? **

* * *

><p>Forty teenagers sat in the Dalton choir room, celebrating a little Warbler- Reunion. All of the current Warblers were there, plus former Warblers like Kurt, Blaine, Wes and a few other Warblers who'd graduated.<p>

Sometime along the way, all of the New Directions had barged in and invited themselves to stay. The Warblers didn't mind, it was something new for a change.

"If the Warblers and the New Directions were a TV show, who would be paired up with who?" David asked halfway through the party, causing everyone to look his way.

"David and Wes!" Called Kurt.

"Nick and Jeff!" Blaine suggested.

"Trent and Quinn," Said Flint.

"Puck and Thad," an unknown Warbler said, causing Santana to call "Wanky!" and Puck and Thad to turn beet-red.

"David and Mercedes," Tina said.

"Wes and his gavel," Said Thad, causing Wes to glare at him.

"Klaine!" Nick and Jeff screamed in unison.

"You know," Nick said suddenly. "I remember the first time we serenaded them as a couple. Don't you, Jeff?" Jeff nodded.

"Perhaps we should tell everyone," Jeff suggested.

Everyone wanted to hear the story of the prehistoric Klaine, of course, so Nick and Jeff told the story just as they remembered it. "I remember, it was 2:48 PM on November 9th, 2010. It was a warm, sunny day at Dalton Academy for Boys…"

_Kurt peered over his sunglasses, looking at all of the Dalton Academy students and trying to figure out which ones are Warblers. This proved to be nearly impossible, as each and every boy was dressed identically._

_Pausing on the staircase for a moment, he chose one boy at random, and tapped him on the shoulder. A dapper-looking boy with over-felled hair turned around._

_"E-excuse me, can I ask you a question, I'm new here," Kurt stuttered, shifting uncomfortably._

_Blaine held out his hand to be shaken. "My name is Blaine," he said._

_Kurt looked shocked that someone wanted to touch him, even for a handshake. "Kurt," he said, giving Blaine a small smile. "So, what exactly is going on?"_

_Blaine looked at him like it was the most obvious thing ever. "The Warblers!" He explained. "Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons room. Kind of shuts the school down for a while." He tried not to look to smug._

_Kurt looked a little confused. "Wait... The glee club here is kind of cool?" He asked, disbelieving._

_"The Warblers are like..." Blaine struggled for the right word. "...Rockstars!"_

* * *

><p>"Really, Blaine?" David said. "Rockstars?" Blaine only rolled his eyes.<p>

* * *

><p><em>The boys looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Blaine spoke again.<em>

_"Now come on, I know a shortcut," he grabbed Kurt's hand. Kurt could only stare in shock. A boy actually wanted to hold his hand? Wow!_

_They ran down the empty corridor, hand on hand. If Kurt hadn't been so shocked, he would have noticed that time seemed to slow down, cliche as that is. It was like they were running in slow motion._

_He also would have noticed that two boys- a blonde and a brunette- were skipping towards them, rolling a piano in from of them.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Huh," Kurt said thoughtfully. "You think I would have noticed a piano rolling towards us…" Nick and Jeff shushed him.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Blaine stopped abruptly, having noticed the two troublemaker Warblers and their piano, causing Kurt to almost fall. He caught himself and dusted off his shoulders out of habit.<em>

_"What happened?" Kurt asked. Blaine gripped his hand tighter._

_"Whatever you do," Blaine said through his teeth. "Do not be frightened by what is about to happen. They can sense fear."_

_Kurt started to sweat. "Who? What is going to happen?" He asked frantically, thinking of monsters or, worse, Karofsky._

_"You, my friend," Blaine muttered. "Are about to experience your first NickAndJeff serenade." But before Kurt could ask what that was, the brunette boy started playing slow, romantic music on the piano. The blonde boy started singing._

"I Know That You'll Be Calling Me,  
>And I'm happy that we just met.<br>Don't think that I'm not interested.  
>I'm just playing hard to get," <em>The brunette boy started singing, as the blonde boy took over the piano.<em>

"_Oh my god," Kurt whispered. "Are they serenading us?" Blaine could only nod._

"So much about this crazy game they call love  
>That I'm trying to understand,<br>So could you be my best friend,  
>Before you call yourself my man," <em>they both sang the chorus together.<em>

"Why can't I love you in slow motion,  
>Take my time,<br>Take away the pressure on my mind  
>Really get to know you<br>But rewind  
>Wanna love you in slow motion<br>Why can't I?" _The blonde boy stopped singing, letting the dark-haired boy take lead._

"You seem to know just what you want  
>And I like your confidence<br>Some things a girl should never rush  
>Cause If you do you hurt yourself<p>

So much about this crazy game they call love  
>I'm still trying to understand,<br>So could you be my best friend,  
>Before you call yourself my man," <em>The lighter haired boy sang the chorus.<em>  
>"Why can't I love you in slow motion,<br>Take my time,  
>Take away the pressure on my mind<br>Really get to know you  
>But rewind<br>Wanna love you in slow motion  
>Why can't I," <em>They sang the rest of the song together. <em>

"I'm too young for tears in the night  
>And it's to soon for this to be right<br>Don't wanna mess with your pride  
>The questions not when but why<p>

Why can't I love you in slow motion,  
>Take my time,<br>Take away the pressure on my mind  
>Really get to know you<br>But rewind," _The yellow-haired boy took full control of the piano, while the brunette sang the last high notes._

"I Wanna love you in slow motion  
>Why can't... I," <em>With that, the two boys took a quick bow, running off with the piano. <em>

_Kurt blinked. "And I thought my school was weird," he deadpanned._

* * *

><p>"Those were the days…" Nick said airily, taking a sip out of his root beer. Jeff nodded in agreement. "Good times, good times."<p> 


	10. Blaine At McKinley

**Gah! sorry I took so long, my computer is acting up. Anyone else having problems with logging in? Anyway, here's the new chapter- **

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee. I also do not own a comfy pair of socks... Hmm...**

**Ideas always welcome!**

* * *

><p>Blaine walked down the halls of McKinley High, straightening his bow tie as he did so. He immediately caught sight of his boyfriend.<p>

Kurt noticed him right away. "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he said, starting to walk away.

Blaine looked at him sympathetically. "Tough day?"

Kurt sighed. "More like tough week. Say, what a you doing here? Shouldn't you be at Warbler's practice or something?"

"You know," Blaine started. "For someone who loves clothes so much, I can't believe you didn't notice I'm not in my Warblers outfit!"

Kurt took a moment to absorb his boyfriend's words, then rushed in for a hug. Neither of the boys noticed the two people quietly setting up a foldable keyboard three yards away.

Nick started singing:

_"Every breath you take_  
><em>Every move you make<em>  
><em>Every bond you break<em>  
><em>Every step you take<em>  
><em>I'll be watching you,<em>" Blaine and Kurt turned around, slightly surprised that they hadn't noticed the other boys before. "

"When do they have the time to practice these?" Kurt hissed. Blaine just shrugged.

"_Every single day_  
><em>Every word you say<em>  
><em>Every game you play<em>  
><em>Every night you stay<em>  
><em>I'll be watching you,<em>" Jeff sang.

They both sang:  
><em>"Oh can't you see<em>  
><em>You belong to me<em>  
><em>How my poor heart aches<em>  
><em>With every step you take,"<em>

"I hope that they know that this is a song about stalking," Blaine whispered.

Nick sang:  
><em>"Every move you make<em>  
><em>Every vow you break<em>  
><em>Every smile you fake<em>  
><em>Every claim you stake<em>  
><em>I'll be watching you."<em>

The two boys began a semi-complicated dance, backed up by a few Cheerios. _'Maybe I could get a few of the cheerleaders to back me up for that dance I was preparing... That would be cool!'_ Blaine thought.

Jeff and Nick harmonized:  
><em>"Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace<em>  
><em>I dream at night, I can only see your face<em>  
><em>I look around but it's you I can't replace<em>  
><em>I feel so cold and I long for your embrace<em>  
><em>I keep calling baby, baby please..."<em>

_"Oh can't you see_  
><em>You belong to me<em>  
><em>How my poor heart aches<em>  
><em>With every step you take,"<em> Nick took over for the next verse.

_"Every move you make_  
><em>Every vow you break<em>  
><em>Every smile you fake<em>  
><em>Every claim you stake<em>  
><em>I'll be watching you."<em>

Jeff sang:  
><em>"Every move you make<em>  
><em>Every step you take<em>  
><em>I'll be watching you<em>  
><em>I'll be watching you."<em>

They both sang the last two verses:

_"Every breath you take_  
><em>Every move you make<em>  
><em>Every bond you break<em>  
><em>Every step you take (I'll be watching you),"<em> The Cheerios began slowly moving away.

_"Every single day_  
><em>Every word you say<em>  
><em>Every game you play<em>  
><em>Every night you stay (I'll be watching you)."<em>

"Guys," Blaine said slowly. "I'm not stalking Kurt." The two boys looked at each other in disbelief.

"I don't think I believe that," Nick said slowly after a few moments.

"Yeah," Jeff added. "Unless stalking doesn't include looking up videos from the victim's days as a cheerleader and a football player count."

"Or of him singing really deeply." Nick cut in.

"Or of him singing a duet with himself." Jeff chimed in.

"Or when you secretly recorded his performance of 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' and use it as an alarm tone for your alarm clock." Nick offered.

"Or that picture that you have of him in your bathroom," Jeff said quietly.

"Or that time when we caught y-" Nick was cut off by Blaine.

"That's enough, guys," Blaine said through gritted teeth. "Now shoo!"

Nick and Jeff, sensing that their lives could be in terrible danger if they didn't, ran out of the hallway and into... The teacher's lounge.

"I really do hope they get caught," Kurt muttered.

As if on cue, the two boys ran out of the teachers lounge and through the side door, nearly bumping into Mr. Kidney the janitor as they ran.

Mr. Kidney shook his head. _Kids these days..._

* * *

><p><em>What do you think Nick and Jeff caught Blaine doing? Let me know<br>_


	11. Niff Meets! First Seranade

_Nick Lyrics_

**Jeff lyrics**

* * *

><p>Ninth Grade Jeff took off his sunglasses as he walked into the Dalton Tour Bus. It was a requirement for all Dalton Freshman to take the tour to get acquainted with their new school.<p>

He sat next to a slightly shaggy-haired boy whose name tag read 'Nick'.  
>"Hello!" Jeff said cheerily. "I'm Jeff!"<p>

The boy looked a little surprised at Jeff's energy. "Hello, Jeff." He said.

"What's your favorite type of candy?" Jeff asked casually. Nick thought that was kind of random.

"Umm... Redvines?" Nick said.

"Cool!" Jeff exclaimed. "Me too! What's your phone number?" Nick gave it to him, a little confused.

Jeff started texting furiously on his cellphone. A few minutes later, Nick's phone went BING! He checked it, raised an eyebrow, and slid it back in his pocket.

"Did you get my text?" Jeff asked.

"Er... Yes?" Nick responded.

"Well," Jeff sniffed. "You didn't text me back!" Nick randomly burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry," He giggled. "But how exactly am I supposed to respond to six text long paragraph explaining the process of llamas prancing in moonlight?"

Jeff shrugged casually, as if they were discussing the weather. "Oh, I don't know. Do you sing?" He asked, completely irrelevant to the conversation.

"Sort of," Nick said. Jeff's face lit up. "Sing for me!" He begged.

Normally, Nick would be a little nervous to sing in front of a complete stranger, but Jeff was different somehow. So, slowly, he began singing.

_"I can show you the world  
>Shining, shimmering, splendid<br>Tell me, princess, now when did  
>You last let your heart decide?<em>

_I can open your eyes_  
><em>Take you wonder by wonder<em>  
><em>Over, sideways and under<em>

_On a magic carpet ride,"_Nick stopped because Jeff burst into a fit of giggles.

"Stop laughing at me," He said defensively.

"I'm sorry!" Jeff cried. "You're not bad at all! It's just, Aladdin?"

"You try to do any better," Nick crossed his arms.

"Oh, I will!" Jeff screeched obnoxiously, snapping his fingers in a z-formation before singing.

**"I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World  
>Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic<br>You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere  
>Imagination, Life Is Your Creation,"<strong>Jeff finished with his hands dramatically posed in the air.

Nick raised his eyebrow again. "You think Aladdin is bad, and then you sing about being a doll with plastic boobs?" He deadpanned.

"I bet you know worse songs than that!" Jeff challenged.

Nick thought for a moment. "I might know a few..."

"Let's hear it, then!" Jeff cried.

Nick pondered for a moment, and then figured 'why not?'

_"It's Too High To Get Over  
>Too Low To Get Under<br>You're Stuck In The Middle  
>And The Pain Is Thunder<br>You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable  
>Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable<br>You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable  
>They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable!"<em>Nick belted. Jeff looked very offended.

"Come on, Nickety-Nick-Nick! Michael Jackson is the King! Don't be dissing him!" Jeff whined.

"It thought the King was Elvis..." Nick said, confused.

"Nah, Elvis is dead. MJ took the crown." Jeff said.

"Punny." Nick deadpanned.

"Oh! I know!" Jeff exclaimed.

**"Do you take it in the ass?  
>Do you take it in the ass?<br>'Cause you're beautiful and curvy  
>but, unless you're kind of pervy,<br>there's no way you and me are gonna last…"** Nick, yet again, raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of song is that?" He asked.

"An awesome one…" Jeff drifted off.

Nick felt a little competitive, as Jeff knew so many random, pointless songs.

"_Cause it's nine in the afternoon and  
>Your eyes are the size of the moon<br>You could 'cause you can so you do  
>We're feeling so good<br>Just the way that we do  
>When it's nine in the Afternoon,"<em> Nick sang, a little less confident than before.

"What song is that? I don't recognize it?" Jeff asked, baffled. He _always_ knew all the weird songs.

"Oh, it's called 'We Will Soar,' by MCMB." Nick replied, smug that he knew a song that Jeff hadn't even heard of.

"Oh. Here's another weird one-

**Almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day.  
>It's getting' kinda long, I coulda said it wasn't in my way.<br>But I didn't and I wonder why, I feel like letting my freak flag fly,"** Nick gasped.

"What?" Jeff asked, alarmed.

"Your hair is beautiful! Never cut it!" Nick fake-wept. Inside, however, he was scheming on how to make it look like he knew more random songs than Jeff. He was a very competitive person.

Suddenly, Nick burst into song.

_"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come._  
><em>Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.<em>  
><em>Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.<em>  
><em>I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.<em>  
><em>I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob."<em>

Jeff clapped quietly. "Very well. Do you think you have the power to beat me in a sing-off?" Nick nodded vigorously. "Alright, here we go."

"**Anything you can do,  
>I can do better.<br>I can do anything  
>Better than you!"<strong> Nick immediately recognized the lyrics. 'Annie, Get Your Gun' was his favorite musical, ever. Of course he joined in.

"No, you can't!"

**"Yes, I can!"**

"_No, you can't."_

"**Yes, I can."**

"_No, you can't."_

**"Yes, I can,  
>Yes, I can!<strong>

**Yes I CAAN!"** Jeff belted.

Nick started singing.

_"Anything you can be_  
><em>I can be greater.<em>  
><em>Sooner or later,<em>  
><em>I'm greater than you!"<em>

Jeff looked mildly impressed. **"No, you're not."**

"_Yes, I am."_

**"No, you're not." **

"Yes, I am."

**"No, you're NOT!"**

"_Yes I am,_

_Yes, I am.  
>Yes, I AAM!"<em> Nick and Jeff danced around each other, improvising dance moves.

**"I can shoot a partridge  
>With a single cartridge!" <strong>

_"I can get a sparrow  
>With a bow and arrow!"<em>

**"I can live on bread and cheese!" **Jeff bragged, acting out the lyrics.

_"And only on that?"_

"**Yes."**

_"So can a rat!"_

_"Any note you can reach_  
><em>I can go higher.<em>  
><em>I can sing anything<em>  
><em>Higher than you!"<em>

"**No, you can't.**" Jeff sang, getting higher.

"_Yes, I can."_ Nick sang, higher than Jeff.

" **No, you can't."** Jeff strained as his voice went higher.

_"Yes, I CAAAAN!"_ Nick belted, holding the really high note for ten seconds. Jeff was visibly impressed. Neither of the boys noticed the sophomore Wes telling David to have them on the Warblers.

"**Anything you can buy  
>I can buy cheaper.<br>I can buy anything  
>Cheaper than you." <strong>Jeff started up again.

"_Fifty cents?"_ Nick challenged.

**"Forty cents!"**

"_Thirty cents?"_

**"Twenty cents!"**

"No, you can't!"

"**Yes, I can, Yes, I can!"**

_"Any note you can hold_  
><em>I can hold longer.<em>  
><em>I can hold any note<em>  
><em>Longer than you." <em>Nick teased.

**"No, you can't."**

_"Yes, I can"_

** "No, you can't."**

_"Yes, I can!"_

_"Yes, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"_

**"No, you CAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T-"**

_"-CAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"_

Jeff coughed. "Yes, you can." He mumbled, accepting defeat.

Nick just grinned.

* * *

><p><strong>Song used are: A Whole New World by Aladdin<strong>

**Barbie Girl by Aqua**

**Wanna Be Starting Something by Michael Jackson**

**Do you Take It by the Wet Spots**

**Anything You Can Do by Annie, Get Your Gun**

**I Am The Walrus by the Beatles**

**Cut My Hair by Crosby  
><strong>


	12. AVPM

Jeff lay stomach down on Nick's bed with his legs crossed, reading his favorite book ever. His eyes darted down the lines, desperate to know what happened next (even though he had read it more times than the Yankees won the World Series). _What would happen to Connor and Lev? Would Risa survive?_

Nick sat at the computer browsing YouTube. He skimmed through the Most Recently Viewed tab to see what people had been watching. He admitted, it was a favorite pastime of his, but it always led to interesting things.

He saw that something called 'A Very Potter Musical' seemed to be very popular. Intrigued, he clicked on what appeared to be the first scene. A boy with poofy hair sat in the middle of a stage, dressed in Hogwarts robes. Nick thought he looked sort of familiar, and then he started singing.

_"Underneath these stairs_  
><em>I hear the sneers and feel the glares of<em>  
><em>my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.<em>

_Can't believe how cruel they are_  
><em>and it stings my lighting scar<em>  
><em>to know they'll never ever give me what I want!"<em>

Nick sat up abruptly. "Jeff!" He yelled, a tad scared.

"What is it, Nick? I'm almost at the climax!" Jeff snapped, then began reading again.

"No! You have to come see this!" Nick exclaimed. Jeff just grumbled in response.

"If you don't come over here right now, I'll tell everyone about that time when you dressed up as Britney Spears to try and impress a girl!" Nick threatened.

That got Jeff's attention. "You wouldn't! We swore never to speak of it!"

"I would if you don't come up here in five… four…" Nick started counting.

Jeff scrambled off the bed, falling over the side and crawling towards the computer desk. "I made it!" he wheezed.

"Good! Now you have to see what I found!" Nick said, excited again.

"Is it another one of those 'Shit Klainers Say' videos?" Jeff asked.

"Nah. This is much better!" Nick pressed play again.

_"And I know I don't deserve these_  
><em>stupid rules made by the Dursleys<em>  
><em>here on Privet drive.<em>

_Can't take all of these muggles,_  
><em>But despite all of my struggles,<em>  
><em>I'm still alive."<em>

"Oh my Klaine!" Jeff shrieked. "That guy is…"

"I know! Who would of thought that Blaine would do something like that, right?" Nick said.

"Wait," Jeff paused. "That's Blaine? I thought it was, like, Darren Criss or something…"

"Who's Darren Criss? You know what, never mind. How are we going to torment Blaine with this now…"

* * *

><p>Nick and Jeff sat at lunch with all of the Warblers. Kurt and Blaine were pressed as close together as they could be without actually sitting on each other. Blaine whispered something in Kurt's ear.<p>

"What did you just tell Kurt, Blaine?" Jeff asked casually, biting into a redvine.

"Oh, I just told Kurt how beautiful I think he is," Blaine said, dazed by love. Behind him, Wevid made gagging noises and kissy faces.

"Are you nuts?" Screamed Nick. "Beautiful? More like supermegafoxyawesomehot! He's the hottest boy I've ever met. He's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any boy. That I know. In my immediate group of friends." Blaine paled considerably.

"Oh my Wizard God!" Jeff exclaimed. "You are so right! It's just every time I look at him I get pains in my chest, and I just know it's his fault, that bitch...!"

Blaine put his head in his hands. Kurt rubbed his back comfortingly, a little confused by the turn of events.

"Jeff, what are you eating?" Nick asked.

"Oh, redvines. What the hell can't they do, you know?" Jeff said. Nick froze.

"Favorite Aimee Mann song on three. One, two, three-"

"Redvines!" They cried together.

"Favorite color of vines other than green-"

"Redvines!"

"Favorite way to say Red Wines in a German Accent-"

"Redvines!" Nick and Jeff crashed into each other, hugging each other fiercely.

"Where have you been all my life?" Jeff asked.

"Oh, in a cupboard under some stairs," Nick replied, biting off a piece of Redvine.

"Okay, what the Devil is going on here?" Asked David, winking. Nick and Jeff might or might not have sent the link to all of the Warblers except Kurt and Blaine.

"Geez, you are acting like Garfield on a Monday!" Wes whined. Wevid high-fived underneath the table.

"Okay! I get it! You found the video!" Blaine yelled. Kurt gave him an odd look.

"What video?" He asked innocently.

Nick and Jeff, ignoring Kurt's question, began singing.

_"You're Harry Freakin' Potter!_  
><em>You don't understand<em>  
><em>you're a legend, man,<em>  
><em>to us all!"<em> They pointed to Blaine, who once again had his head in his arms.

"_Stop playing those eyes_  
><em>If you want me to keep<em>  
><em>Your little secret<em>  
><em>Your little secret<em>  
><em>Your little secret is…"<em> The rest of the Warblers kept singing _your little secret is... _as Nick and Jeff sang the next verse.

_"You're Harry Freakin' Potter!_  
><em>We don't prefer Gandalf,<em>  
><em>Merlin, or Oz,<em>  
><em>You're a whole lot hotter!<em>  
><em>With that lighting scar,<em>  
><em>you're a superstar to us all!<em>  
><em>If we're in trouble we know who to call!"<em>

All of the Warblers sang the next verse.

_"Stop playing those eyes_  
><em>If you want me to keep<em>  
><em>Your little secret<em>  
><em>Your little secret<em>  
><em>Your little secret is…"<em>

_"You're Harry Freakin' Potter!_  
><em>I wouldn't wince at all,<em>  
><em>you're invincible to all harm!<em>  
><em>Like Betty Crocker-"<em>

Wes and David sang the next verse._  
><em>

_"... I wanna eat you up!_  
><em>No one'll beat you up<em>  
><em>with that charm!<em>  
><em>Remember, Harry, kid,<em>  
><em>you're the Boss,<em>  
><em>you're the King,<em>  
><em>you're the Bomb!"<em>

_"Stop playing those eyes_  
><em>If you want me to keep<em>  
><em>Your little secret<em>  
><em>Your little secret<em>  
><em>Your little secret …"<em>

Thad sang the next verse.

_"But this is all so sad,_  
><em>I mean, your Mom and Dad<em>  
><em>were killed, long ago...<em>

_You wanna be psyched,_  
><em>but being unliked<em>  
><em>is all you know..."<em>

Blaine stood up, causing Kurt to almost fall off of his seat. He started singing, surprising everyone.

_"I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate,_  
><em>an opportunity eleven years late...<em>  
><em>I guess it's time for me step up to the plate<em>  
><em>and show 'em that I'm something great!"<em> Blaine jumped onto the table. Seriously, what is with his obsessive need to jump on furniture?

_"I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!_  
><em>I'll do what I can<em>  
><em>if what you say I am is true!"<em> He held the last note expertly, then bowed slightly when everyone started clapping.

* * *

><p>Nick and Jeff sat on Jeff's bed with used tissues surrounding them. "I can't believe he actually started singing! Our attempt at humiliating his was ruined!" Jeff wailed.<p>

"And Kurt still doesn't know that his little hobbit boyfriend is Harry Potter." Nick whimpered. Jeff sat up straight.

"I have an idea!" He said. "We just email the link to Kurt!" Nick brightened.

"That is an excellent idea! Only one problem."

"What's that?" Jeff asked.

"We don't know Kurt's email address."

"...Dang."

* * *

><p><strong>So... What do you think? Ideas? Comments? Concerns? Llamas? Review and let me know! Trivia: What book was Jeff reading at the beginning?<strong>


	13. Fix you

**I'm sorry for:**

**1. My update time. I'm sorry!**

**2. How short this chapter is! Arrrgh!**

**3. The angst in this chapter. Oh, the angst. I'm really sorry for that one, the story kind of wrote itself. **

**Congrats to holly81898 for guessing correctly: the book Jeff was reading is Unwind by Neil Shusterman. Great book, I reccomend you read it. As a matter of fact, I am writing a crossover of Unwind and Glee currently...**

**Disclaimed: I don't own Glee. Frown.**

_Jeff: Lyrics_

**Nick:Lyrics**

* * *

><p>"Well, he's not coming out anytime soon," Blaine joked, trying to lighten the heavy situation. His attempts proved to be unsuccessful, however, as Kurt sat down on the stairs, looking even sadder than before.<p>

"Hey," Blaine sat down on the stair next to Kurt. "What's the matter? Why are you so upset?" He mentally cursed himself for being so stupid.

_Why is he so upset? I don't know, maybe something along the lines of being lip-raped by someone who he hates with a passion and who shoves him into lockers and throws him into dumpsters and throws slushies in his face and…_

Blaine's inner rambling were cut off by Kurt finally answering his question.

"It's just that, before yesterday," Kurt took a shuddering breath. "I had never been kissed." Blaine's eyes grew wide with concern, sympathy, and surprise.

_Who wouldn't want to kiss Kurt? He is so beautiful, inside and out, and _woah, _Blaine, slow down there. He doesn't need a boyfriend now, just a good friend. Well, a good friend I shall be…_

Blaine was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice two boys sneaking up the stairs, each with a guitar in hand. Kurt, however, was the one who noticed.

"Hey Blaine," Blaine looked up at him. "Are those the boys who serenaded us at Dalton?"

"Hmm, Nick and Jeff?" Blaine asked, looking around.

"Yeah, them." Kurt said, pointing.

"Oh, god, no," Blaine gasped once he spotted them.

Jeff climbed up the last stair, and immediately started singing.

_"When you try your best, but you don't succeed_  
><em>When you get what you want, but not what you need<em>  
><em>When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep<em>  
><em>Stuck in reverse,"<em> Nick came up the stairs next, and took over for the next verse. Kurt looked unsure if he was going to burst into tears or run the heck out of there.

**"And the tears come streaming down your face**  
><strong>When you lose something you can't replace<strong>  
><strong>When you love someone, but it goes to waste<strong>  
><strong>Could it be worse?"<strong>

They both sang the chorus:

**_"Lights will guide you home_**  
><strong><em>And ignite your bones<em>**  
><strong><em>And he will try to fix you,"<em> **They pointed at Blaine, who had his arm around Kurt's slender shoulder.

_"And high up above or down below_  
><em>When you're too in love to let it go<em>  
><em>But if you never try you'll never know<em>  
><em>Just what you're worth,"<em> Jeff started dancing ballet, with small, slow movements that fit the song perfectly.

**"Lights will guide you home**  
><strong>And ignite your bones<strong>  
><strong>And I will try to fix you.<strong>  
><strong>Tears stream down on your face,<strong>

**When you lose something you cannot replace,_"_** Kurt realized that this was true; he was crying and he didn't even realize it. He had also lost something he could never get back- his first kiss with a boy.

Nick and Jeff finished the song together.

**_"Lights will guide you home_**  
><strong><em>And ignite your bones<em>**  
><strong><em>And he will try to fix you,"<em>** Nick and Jeff started backing away slowly.

"Wait!" Kurt called after them. They turned around. "Thank you," Kurt said, hugging them both and practically breaking down on their shoulders. Nick patted his back comfortingly, and Jeff whispered kind words into his ear. Maybe, just maybe, they could help Blaine fix this broken boy.


	14. The Substitute

Kurt, Blaine, and Mercedes sat at BreadstiX with Kurt and Blaine on one side of the table, and Mercedes on the other.

"I know! Let's play a game," Kurt said, obviously excited. "On the count of three, name your favorite 2010 Vogue cover." Blaine nodded enthusiastically. Mercedes looked even more bored than before.

"One… Two… Three… Marion Cotillard!" They said at the same time.

"Oh my god, stop it!" Blaine laughed, as if he were being tickled. "But she's amazing!"

"…Amazing…"

* * *

><p>Nick and Jeff hid behind Blaine, Kurt, and Mercedes in a booth at BreadstiX, sliding down in their seats so that they wouldn't see the two boys. "What are they doing?" Nick asked Jeff.<p>

"Look for yourself," Jeff whispered back. Nick groaned.

"Jeff," he said, as if speaking to a small child. "You have the binoculars. And they're on the _wrong way!_" Jeff checked, and sure enough, he had the larger lenses pressed up against his face.

"You know what, give me those!" Nick snatched the binoculars from him and peered over the booth wall that connected the two tables. "Gah!" he whisper-screamed, falling back onto Jeff.

"What is it?" Jeff asked, excited. "Are they making out? Are they having sex?"

Nick groaned again. "Keep your voice down," he reprimanded. "No. I just zoomed in on Blaine's hair and thought I saw the Loch Ness monster."

"So that's where Nessie's been all of these years…" Jeff said absentmindedly.

"What?"

"Nothing! Are we ready for a serenade?" Jeff quickly changed the subject.

Nick looked at Jeff suspiciously. "…Not yet. We need to find a moment of complete and absolute gayness…"

Just then, Klaine's voices drifted over to Nick and Jeff's seat.

"Gay, gay, gay…"

"Gay! So gay!"

"Gay!"

"Oh my god, I open my mouth and a little purse falls out!"

"Gay!"

Nick and Jeff turned to look at each other. "Are you hearing what I'm hearing?" Jeff whispered.

Nick nodded. "It's time."

* * *

><p>They crept around the booth and ran out into the kitchen, grabbing some waiter's aprons and tying them hastily around their waists. Quickly, they ran back to the table.<p>

"Would you like to take an order?" Nick asked in his best French accent.

"Sure! Blaine, why don't you order first," Mercedes prompted, not bothering to look up. Blaine shrugged.

"Sure! I'll have a meatball marin…" He looked up, and promptly put his head in his arms.

Kurt looked alarmed. "Blaine, are you okay?" he asked concernedly, looking up at Nick. "…Oh no."

Jeff came out from behind another table, wearing a ridiculously fake moustache. "Ei, yes!" He exclaimed in a very bad German accent (Jeff may or may not have flunked out of German classes at Dalton in sophomore year…).

Nick pulled a harmonica out of his pocket and started playing. Mercedes looked up from her drink, finally interested in what was happening.

_"I don't know but..._  
><em>I think I may be fallin' for you<em>  
><em>Dropping so quickly<em>  
><em>Maybe I should keep this to myself,"<em> Jeff sang. He took his iPhone out of his apron and started playing on the piano app. Nick threw his harmonica out the window.

_"Waiting 'til I.. Know you better_  
><em>I am trying.. Not to tell you..<em>  
><em>But I want to…"<em> Nick sang, taking the iPhone. He opened up iTunes and started playing the background music that he had bought and mashed up to be perfect.

_"Sing if you're glad to be gay_  
><em>Sing if you're happy that way!"<em> Nick and Jeff harmonized.

"What are they doing?" Mercedes asked curiously. Kurt shook his head.

"Just wait it out, it will be over in a few minutes."

Nick sang,

_"As I'm standing here_  
><em>And you hold my hand<em>  
><em>Pull me towards you<em>  
><em>and we start to dance,<em>" he grabbed Jeff fiercely and pulled him in close as they started to tango around the restaurant.

_"All around us_  
><em>I see nobody<em>  
><em>Here in silence<em>  
><em>It's just<em>  
><em>you and me,"<em> Jeff belted, nose-to-nose with Nick. Jeff had choreographed and mastered the dance easily, but Nick struggled some.

_Step, step, move back, dip Jeff, he dips me,_ Nick thought of the moves in his head. Not all dancing comes as easily to him as it does for Jeff… Nick almost missed his cue.

_"Er, Sing if you're glad to be gay!_  
><em>Sing if you're happy that way!"<em> He sang loudly, trying to cover his mistake. Thankfully, nobody noticed.

_"Happy that way…"_ Jeff echoed, lifting Nick into the air as the music cut off. Nick, in a stroke of unluck, fell four feet to the ground onto his wrist. Jeff sensed that Nick was about to cry, and picked him up, running out the door. The iPhone somehow managed to get back into his pocket.

"That was… odd." Mercedes noted. Blaine nodded in agreement.

"I wonder if Nick's okay. That was a hard fall…" Kurt said, concerned.

"He's probably fine. Knowing them, it was scripted or something." Blaine guessed. Kurt shrugged in agreement.

* * *

><p>Jeff held Nick's other hand as he got a cast plastered on his wrist. Tearstains marked silvery rivers down Nick's face, and the look on his face indicated that he was in a lot of pain.<p>

"There, there, Nicky." Jeff comforted his best friend. "It's okay. It'll all be over in a few minutes." Nick just squeezed his hand harder.

"It was worth it to serenade Klaine," Nick whispered tearfully.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own glee. Any and all prompts are welcome!<br>**


	15. You Take My Breath Away

"Jeff." Nick sat up suddenly, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"What's up, Nick?" Jeff asked. He saw the serious look on his best friend's face. "What's wrong?"

"My… My Klaine senses are tingling, Jeff! Something's happening!" Nick exclaimed.

"Wh-hat?" Jeff looked faint. "Well, why aren't we there? Let's go! To the KLAINEMOBILE!" He rushed out the door, Nick at his heels.

Jeff pulled open the driver's side door and jumped into it, banging his hear against the top of the car as he did so. He saw Klainebows dancing in the air in front of his eyes.

_Owww, that hurt,_ Jeff thought. _But it's worth it for Klaine. Like that time when Nick broke his wrist. And that time that I got a concussion. And-_

Nick threw himself at the passenger's side and slammed the door behind him. "Hurry up!" He shouted.

"Okay, okay, jeez, I'm coming!" Jeff said. "Now where might they be?"

Nick looked like he was thinking hard. "Hmmm, what time is it?" He asked. Jeff checked his watch.

"Eight o'clock, why?"

Nick grinned. "Tell your GPS to take the fastest route to McKinley High."

"Oh yeah, West Side Story is tonight. I told you we should have come tonight instead of going tomorrow!" Jeff said.

"Just plug it in! We're wasting valuable time!"

* * *

><p>Nick and Jeff pulled up to the school and parked in the first spot they found. Thankfully, it was right next to the doors.<p>

They burst inside, past the front office where the secretary slept. They ran past the choir room and past the gym. Finally, they made it to the auditorium.

"What?" Was all Jeff could say when they threw the doors open. The entire auditorium was empty. A few soda cans lay in the cupholders of some chairs, but other than that, the whole place was deserted.

Nick groaned. "Oh no, we missed it!" Some movement on the stage caught his eye.

"Look, Jeff!" he cried, for on the stage was a twirling figure dressed in navy-blue-and-white stripes.

"Oh my god, it's Blaine! And that is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen-" Nick shushed him.

"Shhh! Blaine could hear you! My Klaine senses are tingling again, we must be getting closer!"

"Of course we're getting closer! Half of Klaine is standing- well, dancing- over there in the flesh! Where exactly is that Klaine detector of yours, anyway?" Jeff asked, exasperated.

Nick looked down at his lap, then back up at Jeff. "Ummm, pass?" He turned bright red.

Jeff suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. "Anyway," he changed the subject. "Which songs have we prepared in the car, again?"

Nick relaxed a little. " _'Shut Up and Kiss Me'_ in case they kiss, _'You Take My Breathe Away'_ for lovey-dovey moments, _'Let It Go'_ in case of a fight, and _'I Enjoy Being A Girl'_ for if one of them randomly changes genders," Nick recited.

"Perfect!" Jeff paused. "Why did we do that last one again?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. Oh look, there's Kurt!"

They rushed up to the front of the auditorium, so they could listen to what the two boys were talking about. Before they could really start eavesdropping on the conversation, however, Kurt and Blaine leaned in for a kiss.

Jeff squealed, and Nick elbowed him in the ribs. Hard. "Prepare '_shut up and kiss me._" Jeff whispered. Nick nodded, and snuck around the curtain to the piano. Jeff followed silently.

Kurt whispered, "You take my breath away." Nick and Jeff froze.

"You're freaking kidding me," Nick muttered. "Alright, I'll mash them up. Just sing whichever parts sound right with the music. They won't know the difference. Thank Klaine my mom forced me into fourteen years of piano…"

Kurt and Blaine started speaking to each other too quietly for Nick and Jeff to hear. Blaine even started tearing up a little, so Jeff assumed that they were talking about something emotional.

Suddenly, music started streaming from the piano. Kurt and Blaine looked up, then groaned when they saw Nick at the piano and Jeff behind the curtain.

Jeff started singing whichever parts sounded right to him which, in retrospect, probably sounded a little strange to everyone else.

_"Sometimes it amazes me_  
><em>How strong the power of love can be<em>  
><em>Sometimes you just take my breath away,"<em> Jeff took a deep breath. Who knows when he could take another when you improvise a mashup?

_"It's been too long since somebody whispered_  
><em>Your beauty is there in all I see<em>

_(Shut up and kiss me)_  
><em>And when I feel your eyes on me<em>

_(Shut up and kiss me)_  
><em>Oh don't you know you just take my breath away<em>

_(When you shut up and kiss me),_" Nick started harmonizing with Jeff, repeating 'Shut Up And Kiss Me' while he kept up the irregular tempo of the song.

_"And it's too good to slip by_  
><em>Too good to lose<em>  
><em>Too good to be there just to use<em>  
><em>I'm gonna stand up on a mountain top<em>  
><em>And tell the news<em>  
><em>That you take my breath away!"<em>

Kurt looked a little touched that the boys cared enough to sing about his romance with Blaine (Although the more he thought about it, the creepier it sounded…). Blaine just looked annoyed that they had ruined his perfectly romantic moment with Kurt.

_"You take my breath away…"_ Jeff trailed off while Nick played the instrumental break, consisting of fast paced jolts of the fingers and slow notes played in between. It was the hardest piece Nick had ever half-improvised.

_"Oh baby I can feel this feeling that everything that you do gives me_  
><em>It's been too long since somebody whispered<em>  
><em>Shut up and kiss me!<em>

_You take my breath away,"_ Jeff panicked. He needed a five syllable word that rhymes with 'me' to fit this gap.

And he needed to think of it _now._

"Er… Everlasting pee!

_Shut up and kiss me,"_ Nick shot him a dirty look. _Everlasting pee? _What was he _thinking_? Kurt and Blaine looked a little confused.

_"Africanized bee?_

_Shut up and kiss me…_

_Are you part of glee?_

_Shut up and kiss me…"_ Nick got up off of the piano bench, causing the music to come to a halt. He elbowed his way in front of Jeff, probably to keep him from saying something even more embarrassing and irrelevant.

_"You take my breath away,_

_Shut up and kiss me…"_ The two boys bowed, and then ran out of the auditorium.

*In the car*

"Really, Jeff," Nick said, exasperated. "Everlasting pee? Do yourself a favor and _never_ go into improv." Jeff sighed. He would never hear the end of this one…

* * *

><p><strong>What do you think happened that caused Jeff to get a concussion. Let me know. Also, don't worry, this isn't the only 'The First Time' chapter to come... Prompts always welcome! <strong>


	16. Eskimo Kisses

**Wow! Another update! I'm getting better! Disclaimer: I don't own glee. **

**The long awaited First Time Chapter #2!**

* * *

><p>Nick and Jeff sat in Jeff's car, which was parked in the parking lot of McKinley High.<p>

"I still can't believe that you said 'everlasting pee'!" Nick said, exasperated. "What the heck was that about?"

Jeff had been quietly taking the reprimanding for the past twenty minutes, because he knew he deserved it, but this was getting beyond ridiculous.

"Alright, Nick! I get it!" Jeff cried. "I messed up. Would you FREAKING FORGET IT!"

That got Nick's attention. "Sorry," he muttered. "I got a little carried away. Do you want to go back to Dalton now?" Jeff nodded slowly.

Suddenly, Nick groaned and keeled over in his seat. "Nick? What's wrong? Is it your appendix again?" Jeff asked, panicking.

Nick took a deep breath in. "You… Idiot!" He managed. "I got… My appendix removed two years… Ago. It can't… Grow back!"

Jeff relaxed a little, but quickly remembered that his best-friend-for-life was in horrible pain. "What's wrong, then?" He repeated.

"Kl-l-laine," Nick groaned.

_Oh no,_ Jeff thought. _He's hallucinating! That can't be good! _"What about Klaine?" He asked.

Nick moaned again. "Detector… Super… Strong… Going… Off." Suddenly, his face turned a little green, and he rolled down the window to throw up.

_Oh._ Jeff thought as he comfortingly patted Nick's back. _I get it now…_ "Your Klaine detector is going off?" He almost laughed. _What a relief…_

Nick frowned, wiping some puke off of his chin. "It's not funny!"

Jeff stopped smiling immediately. "Sorry. Is there anything I could do to help?"

Nick nodded. "I need to drink some… Coffee and eat three … Redvines. Don't ask me why…" With that, he curled himself into a tight ball, tears threatening to spill down his cheek.

Jeff fumbled with the glove compartment handle. Finally, it opened, and Jeff's stash of candy and coffee was revealed. He grabbed an iced mocha and tore a pack of redvines open.

After gulping down the coffee and inhaling the redvines, Nick relaxed again. "Why do you have so much food in your car?" He asked. Jeff shrugged.

"In case I get hungry." Nick couldn't argue with that. Jeff continued, "Why do you think your Klaine detector was so strong this time?"

Nick thought for a moment. "I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "The only time it's been even close to that was the first time Klaine kissed, but even then it wasn't nearly as powerful."

"The first time Klaine kissed," Jeff echoed. "The first time… OH MY GOD!" He shoved his key into the car and slammed his seatbelt on, speeding out onto the road.

Nick fumbled with his seatbelt. "What is it?" He asked, excited. "What did you think of?"

"The first time," Jeff repeated. "What if… What if Klaine goes all the way tonight?"

Nick froze. "Oh. My. Klaine. Hurry!"

* * *

><p>"Wow." Nick said twenty minutes later. "We're really here! And we only got onoe speeding ticket!"<p>

Jeff frowned. "Only one? You're not the one who has to pay for it… Anyway, let's go inside. Grab the keyboard!"

Nick complied, and they raced up the steps. Jeff stopped only to open the door with his spare key.

They ran across the hallway to Blaine's room. Jeff peeked inside using the peephole.

"Oh my Klaine!" Jeff squealed. Nick raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes I question your sexuality, Jeff." Nick deadpanned.

Jeff ignored this comment, and quietly opened the door.

Nick suddenly understood why Jeff had squealed, for on the bed, Kurt and Blaine were Eskimo Kissing.

"Awww…" He said, a little too loudly. Kurt and Blaine sat up quickly.

"Leave it to them…" Kurt muttered. Before they could react any more, though, Jeff started playing the keyboard.

"I was feeling done in, couldn't win

_I'd only ever kissed before._

_I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting_

_It only leads to trouble and seat wetting..."_ Nick sang. He had lowered the key, but the song was still ridiculously high. His voice strained a little.

"**Do you take it in the ass? **_(Buh Du Bum bum bum)_

**Do you take it in the ass? **_(Buh Du Bum bum bum)_

**'Cause you're beautiful and curvy**

**but, unless you're kind of pervy,**

**there's no way you and me are gonna last." **Jeff looked really, really offended, like someone had ripped his Zac Efron poster (_That was a _boss_ Zefron poster,_ Nick thought).

"_Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me,_

_I wanna be dirty!_

Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,

_Creature of the night!"_ Nick sang while doing a little dance.

"**Do you take it in the ass?**_(Buh Du Bum bum bum)_

**Do you take it in the ass?**_ (Buh Du Bum bum bum)_

**When it comes to brains you've got 'em**

**but, unless you'll play the bottom,**

**I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a pass.**" Jeff joined in on Nick's little dance (Well, as well as he could, anyhow. He still had to keep playing the piano). He could tell Klaine was getting more and more agitated by the verse, but he kept on singing anyway.

"_Then if anything grows while you pose_

_I'll oil you up and rub you down (down, down down)_

_And that's just one small fraction,_

_Of the main attraction_

_You need a friendly hand and I need action..." _Nick and Jeff sang the last verse together, slower than it was supposed to be.

"_**Do you take it in the ass?**_

_**Do you take it in the ass?**_

_**'Cause I've ordered in a shipment of the relevant equipment**_

_**I've got lubricant and condoms and some grass…"**_

Nick and Jeff took their normal bow, and raced out of the house.

*In the car*

"I can't believe we got a speeding ticket!" Jeff groaned.

"At least we got there in time…" Nick said in a small voice.

"Yeah. It was really awkward when the cop asked us why we were speeding…"

* * *

><p><em>Jeff hesitantly rolled down his window for the police officer. "Can I help you?" He said timidly.<em>

_"You were speeding." The officer said bluntly, handing him a ticket._

_"Can we go now? We're kind of in a hurry…" Nick hinted._

"_What could you possibly be in such a hurry for?" Wondered the man._

"_You see," Jeff explained. "We are on our way to serenading out dear friends Kurt and Blaine. Perhaps you have heard of them…" The officer shook his head no. "Well, we think that they are finally going to have sexual intercourse tonight, and we need to be there to embarrass them. So as you see, we are kindof in a hurry…" Jeff trailed off._

"_Of course!" Said the officer. "Go ahead! Just tell them be safe!" They nodded, and hurried back onto the main road._

* * *

><p>"Dang it!" Said Jeff suddenly. "We forgot to tell them to use protection!"<p> 


	17. Baby It's Cold Outside

Kurt and Blaine raced around the couch in the Dalton Senior commons, finally setting down on it like an old married couple.

_"Oh baby it's cold… out… side!"_ The two boys sang the final notes with Kurt lower than usual and Blaine in falsetto.

"You are much better than that girl is going to be," Blaine said with a smile in his eyes. Kurt beamed, obviously smitten.

"I wish they would just figure out their feelings already! I'm sick of all this unresolved tension between them. Just make out already!" Jeff whispered, grinning. Nick shook his head.

"I know, I know," Nick whispered back. "It gives me a headache every stinking time I walk into Warblers practice. Speaking of getting a move on, though, we'd better or we'll miss our cue!"

Jeff's grin slid off of his face. "Shoot!" He muttered.

Nick grabbed the ukulele from behind the mini Christmas tree, and he and Jeff snuck into the room.

Nick started strumming.

"_Percussion, Strings, Winds, Words,_" Jeff said in a deep voice.

Kurt and Blaine looked up. "Again…?" Kurt asked, although he knew the answer. Of course they were being serenaded again. It was inevitable.

Blaine immediately recognized the song. After all, he was a _huge _Disney fan. That didn't mean that he approved of the song choice, however.

_"There you see him_

_Sitting there across the way_

_He don't got a lot to say_

_But there's something about him_

_And you don't know why_

_But you're dying to try_

_You wanna kiss the boy!_" Nick sang, trying to get the same accent that Sebastian used during the movie. Not Sebastian-the-slutpig, who had gone to Paris for the year, but Sebastian-the-lobster from the Little Mermaid.

_"Yes, you want him_

_Look at him, you know you do_

_It's possible he wants you, too_

_There is one way to ask him_

_It don't take a word_

_Not a single word_

_Go on and kiss the boy,"_ Jeff sang deeply. Even Nick hadn't known his range went down that far until Jeff had suggested the song by serenading him with it.

_"Sing with me now!"_ Nick exclaimed. Then, they both harmonized for the chorus.

_"Sha-la-la-la-la-la_

_My, oh, my_

_Look at the boy too shy_

_He ain't gonna kiss the boy!_

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la_

_Ain't that sad_

_Ain't it shame, too bad_

_You gonna miss the boy,"_ Jeff pushed a button in his pocket, and a bunch of plastic bubbles floated down from the ceiling. Kurt and Blaine looked on, horrified.

_"Sha-la-la-la-la-la_

_Don't be scared_

_You got the mood prepared_

_Go on and kiss the boy_

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la_

_Don't stop now_

_Don't try to hide it how_

_You wanna kiss the girl,"_ Nick and Jeff moved through the room, moving their arms like they were rowing a boat.

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

_Float along_

_Listen to the song_

_The song say kiss the boy,"_ Nick and Jeff started backing out of the room slowly. Jeff wrapped his arms around Nick, and they played the ukulele together.

_"Sha-la-la-la-la-la_

_Music play_

_Do what the music say_

_You wanna kiss the boy…"_ Kurt and Blaine blinked. "That was… odd…" Kurt said slowly after a moment. He looked down, and almost screamed.

"When did they put a hula skirt on me?"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the overall shortness! I'll try harder next time *sobs*. OH, and this prompt was by alovesstorytoldincupsofcoffee. Thanks!<br>**


	18. BIOTA

Rachel stood up, and walked with much determination towards Blaine. Kurt watched curiously behind her, careful not to be seen.

She approached Blaine carefully. "Hello, Rachel-" hee started, obviously surprised, but he was cut off.

Rachel leaned in and gave him a big ol' smooch on the mouth. Nick and Jeff, who were silently watching from behind a pillar, winced. It physically pained them to watch Blaine make out with a girl, when he could be kissing Kurt.

Blaine leaned back, with a thoughtful look on his face. "Yup," he said after a moment. "One hundred percent gay. Thank you for clearing that up, Rachel."

Nick punched the air, glad that Klaine was possible again. Well, he _almost _punched the air. Jeff had chosen that moment to lean a little to the right, causing Nick's fist to collide with his skull. He saw stars in front of his eyes.

"OW!" Jeff whispered, rubbing his head. "What was that for?"

"Sorry," Nick said, sheepish. "Let's serenade them!"

"Okay. Afterwards, can you take me to the nurse? I don't feel right," Jeff said, his speech a little slurred (it was almost unnoticeable, but Nick had very keen hearing).

"Alright. I'll start now."

Nick pulled a CD player out of his backpack, plugged it in to the wall socket, and pressed play.

Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel looked towards them. Kurt groaned. "Not again…"

Nick started singing. "_This was never the way I planned,_

_Not my intention._

_I got so brave, drink in hand,_

_Lost my discretion,"_ he nudged Jeff with his elbow, causing him to remember that he was supposed to sing next.

_"It's not slut I'm fused to,_

_Just Waldo cry you on_

_I'm furious for you_

_caught my detention!"_ Jeff sang, unaware that he was messing up many of the lyrics. Nick sighed. He knew the signs of a concussion way too well.

_"I kissed a girl and don't like it, the taste of her cherry chapstick_

_I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my best friend don't mind it,_" Nick sang, falsely confident, and trying to cover up Jeff's lack of focus.

_"It felt so gong, it felt so night,_

_Don't glean I'm in dove flea bite_

_I kissed a girl and I'm allergic to it, allergic to it,"_ Jeff sang. Kurt and Blaine looked really, really confused.

_"Them girls they are so magical, soft skin, red lips, so kissable_

_Not hard to resist, untouchable, not too good to deny it_

_It ain't no big deal, it's innocent,"_ Nick sang. He winked at Rachel, who seemed to be having a hard time understanding what was going on.

_"I kissed a girl and despised it, the taste of her cherry chapstick_

_I kissed a boy and I liked it, the feel of his very large di-"_ Nick clamped a hand over Jeff's mouth before any more words could come out.

"That's not the lyrics, Jeff, remember?" Nick prodded his best friend in the side.

"No?" Jeff said, more like a question. "I don't. Why are you doing this to me?" he burst into tears randomly. When Nick reached to comfort him, he slapped his hand away, and then fainted.

"Okay, that's it buddy, you have a concussion," Nick said, more to himself than anything. "Let's get you to the ER."

Nick half-carried, half-dragged Jeff into the car. When they were halfway there, Jeff woke up

"This would be a nice place for an avocado ranch," Jeff said in a southern accent. Nick grinned.

_I will so tease him about this later…_

* * *

><p><strong>I am stuck home sick today. There goes my perfect attendance. :( I also have a research paper on West Side Story due tomorrow, but I left my flash drive at school. Figures. At least it means I can finally sit down and write this one. Since I have extra time here, how about I do a disclaimer for each chapter and it's songs, as I forgot to mention some. I don't own any of them.<br>**

**Ch. 1: Kissin You, Miranda Cosgrove  
>Ch. 2: Take The Money and Run, steve Miller<br>Ch. 3: First Date, Blink-182  
>Ch. 4: Sing, My Chemical Romance<br>Ch. 5: As Long As You're Mine, Wicked  
>Ch. 6: Courage Is, the Strange Familiars<br>Ch. 7: I Love You, Celine Dion  
>Ch. 8: Summer Nights, Grease<br>Ch. 9: Slow Motion, Katrina Pasian  
>Ch. 10: Every Breath You Take, The Police<br>Ch. 11: **A Whole New World, Aladdin**; Barbie Girl, Aqua; Wanna Be Starting Something, Michael Jackson; Do you Take It, the Wet Spots; Anything You Can Do, Annie Get Your Gun; I Am The Walrus, the Beatles; Cut My Hair, Crosby; We Will Soar, MCMB  
>Ch. 12: Gotta Get Back To Hogwarts, AVPM; Harry Freakin' Potter, AVPS<br>Ch. 13: Fix You, Coldplay  
>Ch. 14: Falling For You, Colbie Callat; Glad To Be Gay, Tom Robinson<br>Ch. 15: Shut Up And Kiss Me, Mary Chapin Carpenter; You Take My Breath Away, Eva Cassidy  
>Ch. 16: Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a me, Rock Horror; Do You Take It, The Wet Spots<br>Ch. 17: Kiss da Girl, The Little Mermaid  
>Ch. 18: I Kissed a Girl, Katy Perry<br>**


	19. Because of the Layers

**Sorry for the wait! I was on spring break and had no access to the internet! Anyway, here you go... Song in do ya think I'm sexy by Rod Stewart**

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><p>Nick and Jeff stood outside of Blaine's bedroom door, ear against it. They had somehow acquired keys to both Kurt and Blaine's houses, which made their serenading missions a lot easier. After all, Nick and Jeff knew <em>exactly <em>what kind of shenanigans went on when they were alone.

Roxie music could be faintly heard from the other side of the door. Finally, they could hear someone talking.

"I'm just wondering," Kurt said, sounding a little flustered. "Don't you ever have the urge to just rip off each-other's clothes and… get dirty?" Nick raised an eyebrow. _That's a new one, _he thought.

"That's why they invented masturbation," Blaine said airily. David popped up behind Nick and Jeff.

"Is this the type of conversation they have every day?" he whispered.

"Nooo…" Jeff replied. "Come on, let's get ready. Is everyone warmed up?" he addressed everyone. Various forms of 'affirmative' were shot back at him.

"Alrighty," Jeff said. "Today, we ride!" he raised an imaginary sword and burst silently into the room. Fifteen Warblers, none of which Sebastian-the-slutpig, snuck in behind him.

"Because of the layers," Blaine concluded, obviously not noticing the others, and grabbed Kurt's face for a kiss.

"Awwwww!" Trent cooed, and Kurt's eyes shot open.

"NOW!" Screamed Nick and Jeff in unison, and all at once the Warblers started making backup noises.

"Sugar, Sugar," Nick crooned, beginning the song.

_"He sits alone waiting for suggestions_  
><em>He's so nervous, avoiding all the questions<em>  
><em>His lips are dry, his heart is gently pounding<em>  
><em>Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?"<em> Jeff belted. Wes and David sang the next verse.

_"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy_  
><em>Come on sugar let me know!"<em> Trent sang next.

_"If you really need me just reach out and touch me_  
><em>Come on honey tell me so, tell me so baby,"<em> Nick opened his mouth, but suddenly couldn't remember the next lines.

_"He's acting shy_

_looking for an answer_  
><em>Come on honey<em>

_let's spend the night together_  
><em>Now hold on a minute<em>

_before we go much further_  
><em>Give me a dime<em>

_so I can phone my father!"_ Thad sang. _Oh yeah_, Nick thought, _it's not my verse. Right._

_"They catch a cab_

_to his high rise apartment_  
><em>At last he can tell him<em>

_exactly what his heart meant!"_ Flint sang. Kurt and Blaine face-palmed, finally realizing how many people were brought into this.

_"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy_  
><em>Come on honey tell me so<em>  
><em>If you really need me just reach out and touch me<em>  
><em>Come on sugar let me know!"<em> Nick sang. He hoped he wasn't taking over anybody else's part, but sure enough, Cameron was giving him the evil eye_. Dang._

_"His heart's beating like a drum_  
><em>'cause at last he's got this boy home<em>  
><em>Relax baby, now we are all alone,"<em> Luke sang. Kurt whispered to Blaine, "We _were _alone, but then _they_ showed up." Blaine nodded in agreement.

_"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy_  
><em>Come on sugar let me know<em>  
><em>If you really need me just reach out and touch me<em>  
><em>Come on honey tell me so<em>  
><em>Sugar!"<em> Cameron sang, smirking at Nick. Something in Nick clicked. _Wait, that was my verse! _

_"If you really need me just reach out and touch me_  
><em>Come on sugar let me know<em>  
><em>If you really, really, really, really need me<em>  
><em>Just let me know<em>  
><em>Just reach out and touch me!"<em> All the Warblers sang together.

_"If you want my body!"_ Nick and Cameron sang together. They both had been trying to sing that line before the other, instead, they sang in perfect unison… Four beats before they were supposed to.

The Warblers quickly exited through the door, except Jeff and Nick, who climbed out the window.

"What was up with that last line?" Kurt asked Blaine. It seemed a bit… off."

Blaine shrugged. "I didn't really notice anything. You just kind of tune them out, you know?" Kurt nodded in agreement, snuggling into his side.

Outside, Jeff turned to Nick. "What _was _up with that last line, anyway?"

Nick looked down, ashamed. "My competitive nerves got the best of me."

Jeff pointed at Nick sternly. "Don't let that happen again, understand me?" Nick nodded meekly.

"Yes, Mr. Jeff," he said. Jeff couldn't tell if he was mocking him or not. Eventually, he shrugged, and gave his friend the benefit of the doubt.

"Can we leave now?" Nick asked. Jeff nodded, and leapt off the window pane. Nick cried out, trying to warn him-

_Oh yeah, Blaine's room is on the first floor now._

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><p><strong>Prompts always welcome!<strong>


	20. You Smell Like Craigslist

**Gah! Sorry for the wait. Also, for those of you who read it, Don't Take Me Apart will be updated soon. I just had a bit of a mind block. Also, I just joined track. YAY! Too bad I have to get up at 5:30 AM now... That's usually the time in which I write.**

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><p>Kurt laughed nervously as Blaine walked away for more coffee. The smile quickly died off of his face, however, when he turned back to Sebastian.<p>

"I don't like you," he said. Nick, hiding behind the same pillar that Jeff had gotten a concussion near, thought he sounded a bit dangerous.

Sebastian sat up. "Fine," he said. "I don't like you either." He smirked a little. Nick could see a little bit of resemblance of Sebastian and the pig from Winnie the Poo. What was its name? Piglet? _Irrelevant,_ Nick finally thought.

"I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend," Kurt said. "I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm onto you," Kurt's smirk matched his own. Jeff did a little happy dance. _Go Kurt!_

"Let me get this straight," Sebastian countered. "Blaine's too good for you." Nick and Jeff got really angry at this. _How dare he talk to Kurt like that?_

They missed most of the following conversation because they needed to calm their steadily growing anger. Nick and Jeff weren't hateful people, and yet they couldn't help but hate- no, _strongly despise_- Sebastian. After a moment, however, they resumed eavesdropping.

"…And you'll have khakis, a Lima Bean apron, and that gay face," Sebastian's smirk was so wide, Jeff could have jump-roped with it if it weren't attached to his face. Of course, he wouldn't mind ripping it off at that moment…

Kurt chuckled sarcastically. "You smell like Craigslist," he said.

_That is probably true,_ Nick thought. He nodded at Jeff. "It's time," he said solemnly. Jeff grinned, and pulled out his trusty ukulele.

Nick jumped out from behind the pillar, causing Blaine to jump. Aparently, he had just joined the table again.

Nick sang,

"This is a story about out local Slutpig,

His name was Sebastian Smythe,

He's as strong as a twig,

His voice is as sharp as a knife,

And this is what we want to say to him…" Jeff also jumped out from behind his pillar.

"What the-" Sebastian started, but Jeff cut him off.

"Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is," Jeff butted in, and then he started to sing, too.

"Can I borrow your face? My butt is on vacation!"

"If you were twice as smart, you'd be as intelligent as a sea slug."

"Is that your face, or did your neck just throw up?"

"When I see a face like yours, I wish I was blind."

"Your face looks like pizza with the cheese ripped off," at this point, Kurt and Blaine looked they were about to die of laughter.

"You're so stupid, you couldn't put M&Ms in alphabetical order!"

"I lied when I said you were ugly. You're hideous!"

Sebastian was bright red by now, and bowed his head. Kurt and Blaine decided that now would be a perfect opportunity to join in Nick and Jeff's little jig of insults.

"You're living proof that Snow White and Dopey had children."

Sebastian opened his mouth, but this time, Kurt cut in.

"Close your butt, crud is about to come out of it. Oh wait… That's your face."

"If stupidity was a disease, you'd be dead right now."

Nick went up to Sebastian and shook his hand. "Hi! I'm a human being. What are you?"

"You're so ugly, Chuck Norris is afraid of you!" Most of the people in the Lima Bean were watching the five boys with amused eyes. The rest were recording it with their phones.

"I could give you a penny for your thoughts and get change back."

"You have a face like a Saint… Bernard."

"Your IQ came back negative."

"I would ask you to sing, but I don't want the windows to break."

Jeff dramatically finished playing the ukulele. The two boys took their usual bow and scurried out the door. Eventually, everyone went back to his or her business.

Sebastian, on the other hand, was still shaking.

"Is this seriouslt your first Nick-And-Jeff serenade?" Kurt asked, amazed.

Sebastian nodded. Kurt turned around to grab his satchel, heard a thumping noise behind him.

Sebastian lay on the floor, fully unconscious.

Blaine shrugged. "He fainted?"

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><p><strong>Please send any and all prompts you have!<strong>


	21. Lovegame

**Woo hoo! I'm back! I'm sure you missed me. Or maybe you were glad I was gone. I was at a leadership convention, and my hotel had no Wifi (and I'm pretty sure they didn't clean the beds because in the middle of the night, I discovered a spoon was sleeping with me. Hmm..  
><strong>

**This prompt is by Hyperandproudofit. Thank you! Eternal thanks!  
><strong>

**So, I was just browsing my email because I was bored. I started counting... 42 story alerts, 32 Favorite Stories, and 71 reviews! Holy cow, I feel faint! I must be hallucinating! My exclamation marks are probably making your head hurt! Anyway, thanks guys!  
><strong>

**A while back, I got a PM from somebody (Niff4ever) saying that she wanted to translate my story into German. I almost forgot! If I wasn't too clear in the reply, then yes, I would absolutely love it if you translate. You have my permission! ****1000 percent of it! **

**World's longest Author's note, I know. For those of you Don't Take Me Apart readers, I haven't forgotten. I just need to get my book back from the library (interesting story behind that...). It is not a dead story yet!  
><strong>

**If you have any prompts for this story, my other stories, or an idea for a new story, I will probably use it!  
><strong>

**For those of you wondering the song from last chapter, it wasn't really one. Imagine... the Campfire Song Song from Spongebob. Or just a ukulele playing furiously in the background while Nick and Jeff shout the lyrics at Sebastian.  
><strong>

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><p>Kurt looked at the chess game board, looking very puzzled. "I think you've got me cornered," he said finally, scratching his nose. Suddenly, a look of realization dawned upon him.<p>

"Wait... A... Second," he muttered slowly, a grin stretching out across his facial features. He moved his queen two spaces to the left.

"Checkmate."

Blaine blinked. "What? That's- that's not-" his eyes raked over the board. "How did you do that?"

Kurt just smirked at his boyfriend. "So, what kind of game do you want to play now?" he asked.

Blaine thought for a moment. "Well, we haven't played Scr-"

"How about a love game?" Jeff said, semi-smoldery, crouching in the window. Nick, who was right behind him, facepalmed.

He could always tell when Jeff was trying to sound sexy because he looked like a llama with a soda can shoved up its lower esophageal sphincter. Or an empty bottle of shamoo getting squeezed really hard. Either way, it was not attractive.

Before any of the three boys could comment on that, thought, Jeff plugged his iPod into Kurt's speaker, and upbeat background music began to play.

Jeff started singing,  
><strong>"Let's have some fun,<br>This beat is sick  
>I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!"<br>**  
>Nick joined in, grinning. He had been the one to suggest such a great song to sing if Klaine played any type of game.<p>

"_Let's have some fun,  
>This beat is sick<br>I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!"_

Kurt gritted his teeth. This was one of his favorite songs, and yet being serenaded by it made it somewhat more unlikable.  
><strong><br>"I wanna kiss you  
>But if I do then I might miss you babe<br>It's complicated and stupid  
>Got my butt squeezed by sexy Cupid!"<strong>

Jeff picked up a long, thin lamp, much like the one from Lady Gaga's music video. Nick grabbed it and pretended that it was a microphone.

_"Guess he wants to play,  
>Wants to play<br>_**A love game  
>A love game..."<br>**  
>Blaine stared on. How on earth had they been able to find such an inappropriate song about a game?<p>

_"Hold me and love me  
>Just want to touch you for a minute<br>Maybe three seconds is enough for my heart to quit it,"_Nick then started to do some very Michael Jackson-esque dance moves.

**"Let's have some fun,  
>This beat is sick,<br>I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!  
>Don't think too much,<br>just bust that kick,  
>I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!"<strong>

Nick and Jeff pushed the bed that Kurt and Blaine were sitting on is circles. Kurt looked horrified, amused, and a little bit frightened, all at once.

_"I'm on a mission,  
>And it involves some heavy touchin' yeah.<br>You've indicated your interest,  
>I'm educated in sex, yes.<br>And now I want it bad,  
>Want it bad."<em>

Jeff grabbed the lamp again and started dancing on it like a stripper.

**"I can see you staring there  
>from across the block<br>with a smile on your mouth and your hand on your-"**

Nick cut in. _"Ahem!"_

**"Let's play a love game,  
>Play a love game<br>Do you want love or you want fame?  
>Are you in the game?<strong>  
><strong>Dans le love game?"<strong>

_The story of us it always starts the same with a boy and a boy and a-"_

Jeff cut in this time. "**Ahem!"**

_"And a game!  
>And a game<br>And a game  
>And a game<br>A love game!"_

Rachel burst into the room. "I heard music and-" she froze, noticing Nick and Jeff, both of which were on the lamp by that time.

"Did you hire strippers again?"

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><p><strong>What do you think happened the first time Kurt and Blaine hired strippers? Review and let me know! Song: Lovegame, Lady Gaga. Prompts are worth 525,600 klisses!<br>**


	22. Chandler

**Hello to people of Klaine and beyond! How are you this fine... *checks time*... morning? I wish I had something exciting to say right here, because even though most of you don't read author's notes, some people do. Sigh. Cough. Sniffle. WAIL! Sorry, that was a bit unnecessary.**

**Had anybody else read Roses In December? I can't believe I just got to it now! Talk about behind in the world of Klaine fandom...  
><strong>

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><p>Nick and Jeff popped up from behind the stack of sheet music at Behind The Sheets. They were watching Kurt cautiously, to make sure that Blaine didn't come in at any random moments.<p>

They hadn't been able to find any good serenading moments as of late. Maybe Kurt and Blaine were being romantic in secret, but Nick and Jeff were baffled as to why they hadn't been as couple-y.

A guy with thick glasses and a $1,448 outfit (Jeff had looked it up later) approached Kurt, and within seconds they were able to tell that he had a bit of a crush on Kurt, and was very, _very _gay.

Nick elbowed Jeff. "I see a potential serenading situation!"

Jeff looked up from his Trigonometry homework. "Did Blaine walk in?" He asked. "I didn't see him."

"Of course you didn't, you were doing your math homework that," he looked at the top of the paper, "was due last week!"

Jeff ducked his head. "Anyway, Blaine didn't walk in, this new guy is hitting on Kurt, and he's allowing it!"

Jeff's head shot up immediately. "What? Why? I don't believe it!" he watched them for a few seconds. "Huh. That guy is really loud. It's giving me a headache."

"Irrelevant!" Nick whisper-shouted. "Just prepare a number!"

Thankfully, there was a piano in the store, and there was already sheet music on it. Nick read through it quickly.

"Perfect," he muttered. "Jeff, Call Me Maybe with #3 alterations." Jeff's eyes widened.

"But, we barely practiced!"

Nick snorted. "I practiced a ton, _you_ were busy doing your Latin homework." Nonetheless, he started playing the piano.

"_I threw a wish in the well,_

_Don't ask me, I'll never tell_

_I looked at Blaine as it fell, but now you're in my way_  
><em>I trade my soul for a wish,<em> _pennies and dimes for a kiss_

_I wasn't looking for this, and you're still in my way."_

_Kurt looked up, immediately recognizing the voice. Chandler followed his gaze._

_"Who's Blaine?" he asked. Kurt glared at him._

_"My boyfriend. So back off." Chandler looked down at his feet._

_"Hey, I just met you, _

_And you are crazy, _

_Don't give me your number,_

_Don't call me, ever." __Jeff started dancing. Nick didn't expect it, which was a shocker. Nick usually was prepared for every serenade and knew everything about them before they even happened._

_"__Just take your time with the call,_

_In fact, don't bother at all, _

_I'll give you nothing at all,_

_And get out of my way__." Jeff leaped out of hit pirouette, ran up to Chandler (he looked up his name later), and pushed him into a pile of Beethoven sheet music._

"_I beg, and borrow and steal_

_You don't have any appeal, _

_I meant it, get out of my way!" __Chandler pulled the Moonlight Sonata from his blazer and__ g_lared at Jeff.

"_Your stare was horrifyin', _

_Your face made me feel like cryin'_

_Cold night, wind was blowin' _

_Just keep on going, crybaby!"_ Chandler scowled at the two blazer-clad boys. Kurt, on the other hand, watched on with great amusement.

_Nick joined in with the chorus._

_"Hey, I just met you, _

_And you are crazy, _

_Don't give me your number,_

_Don't call me, ever." __They took Chandler's cell phone, and chucked it out the open window. Kurt giggled loudly._

Nick sang by himself,

"_Before you came into my life _

_I hated you so bad_

_I loathed you so bad_

_I despised you so bad."__  
><em>

"_Before you came into my life _

_I detested you so bad _

_And you should know that."_

_"Hey, I just met you, _

_And you are crazy, _

_Don't give me your number,_

_Don't call me, ever!_

_Don't call me, ever!"_

Nick and Jeff took a bow, and ran out the back door, with Kurt following soon after. The owner of the store, Mr. Staccato, approached Chandler, who was still lying on top of the sheet music in a daze.

"The policy here is 'You break it, you buy it.' A lot of this sheet music is now unusable, so take it home with you for $69.99…"

Nick and Jeff high-fived. Little did they know, if they hadn't shown up that one day in the music shop, they would have had a lot more serenading opportunities.

At least they prevented a Klaine fight, and in the end, wasn't that their main goal? You know, other than completely and utterly humiliating Kurt and Blaine in various situations, that is.

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><p><strong>Here you go...<br>**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Call Me Maybe. They belong to Ryan Murphy and Carly Rae Jespen.  
><strong>

**What other important moment do you think Jeff was doing homework through? Let me know!  
><strong>

**Do you have a prompt for this story? Let me know!  
><strong>

**Do you need beta-ing? Let me know!  
><strong>

**Do you have bowel issues? Keep that to yourself!  
><strong>


	23. Car Song

**Hello Gleeks, Klainers, Nifflers, and Warblerettes! How are you this fine day? I'm sorry to say that I had to put 'Don't Take Me Apart' up for adoption. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or 'Our Song.'  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Kurt smiled widely as he climbed into the passenger's seat of Blaine's Mercedes Benz.<p>

"Hey, love," said Blaine, pecking him on the cheek. Kurt's grin grew even larger, if that was possible. He couldn't remember the last time he was this happy.

You know, except for the time that Blaine gave the 'You move me, Kurt' speech and kissed him', and a bunch of times like that, but to Kurt, he couldn't be any happier.

"Where are we going for date night tonight, honey," Kurt asked, holding Blaine's free hand in his. Blaine smirked.

"It's a secret." Kurt frowned. He hated secrets. "It better be good."

"Oh, it will be!" Blaine, on the other hand, loved secrets, and often planned secret things for Kurt and himself.

An awkward pause fell between them, and Blaine turned on the radio.

_"I feel like a shortstop…. Along third base…"_ The radio crooned.

"Innuendo!" Blaine cried. Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Get it Kurt, because he's among third base. Get it? Get it? Like-"

"I got it Blaine, thanks. That was one of my favorite songs by the way. Why did you have to forever ruin this for me? Although the guy who sings this kinda reminds me of you…"

Another awkward pause. "Sooooo," Blaine started again. "I was thinking, we should get a song." Kurt's eyebrow was up to his hairline now. "Like, one that we deem 'ours' and whenever it comes on in the car, we have to sing it."

"I think-" Kurt was cut off when the radio was silenced. "Did you do that?"

Blaine was puzzled. "No."

Just then, Nick and Jeff sat up from where they were laying in the back. Kurt shrieked and attempted to hit them in the head with his diet coke can.

Jeff started strumming his guitar, and Nick started singing.

_"I was riding shotgun_

_With my hair undone_

_In the front seat of his car_

_He's got a one-hand feel_

_On the steering wheel_

_The other on my hand,"_ Nick grabbed his laptop and started pulling things up on it. Jeff took over the next part.

_"I look around, turn the radio down_

_He says, "Baby is something wrong?"_

_I say, "Nothing,_

_I was just thinking_

_How we don't have a song"_

_And he says..."_ A clicking sound came from Nick's laptop, and suddenly the smiling faces of Wes, David, Thad, and Trent greeted Kurt and Blaine.

"Only they would find a bad use for Skype," Kurt muttered.

All of the Warblers sang the chorus.

_"Our song is the slamming screen door,_

_Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window_

_When we're on the phone and you talk real slow_

_'cause it's late and Burt Hummel don't know_

_Our song is the way you laugh_

_The first date when I didn't kiss him, and I should have_

_And when I got home ... 'fore I said amen_

_Asking God if he could play it again!"_ Kurt groaned. To him, it seemed that Nick and Jeff could travel in or freeze time just so they could prepare musical numbers. Maybe they could.

Nick and Jeff sang the next verse.

_"I was walking up_

_The front porch steps_

_After everything that day_

_Had gone all wrong_

_And been trampled on_

_And lost and thrown away_

_Got to the hallway,_

_Well on my way_

_To my lovin' bed_

_I almost didn't notice_

_All the roses_

_And the note that said..."_ For some reason, Wes, David, Thad and Trent started doing the Macarena. They started singing again.

_"'Cause our song is the slamming screen door,_

_Sneakin' out late, tapping on his window_

_When we're on the phone and he talks real slow_

_'cause it's late and his Burt Hummel don't know_

_Our song is the way he laughs_

_The first date when I didn't kiss him, and I should have._

_And when I got home ... 'fore I said amen_

_Asking God if he could play it again,"_ Nick noticed that the four boys were still doing the Macarena and nudged the screen, doing a different moves with his hands instead. The Warblers quickly caught on and changed their hand dance.

_"I was riding shotgun_

_With my hair undone_

_In the front seat of his car_

_I grabbed a pen_

_And an old napkin_

_And I wrote down our song…"_ Nick and Jeff, noting that sometime in the middle of the song Blaine had parked the car on the side of the road, threw the door open, grabbed the laptop, and ran down the street.

"I was serious about the song thing, though. I'll turn on the radio to see if there are any candidates." Right when he hit the radio button, the perfect song blasted from the radio. Maybe the serenade wasn't all bad, because that day, Kurt and Blaine found 'their song.'

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><p><strong>Trivia: What was the song that came on at the beginning? What turned out to be Klaine's song? What do you think Kurt and Blaine's surprise date plan was? Why were the Warblers doing the Macarena? Please review and tell me your thoughts.<br>**


	24. Prom 2: Blaine's Hair

**HEELLLOOO FRIENDS AND STRANGERS! How are you? Have you ever been to a Sound-of-Music Singalong? It's like Rocky Horror, but without the nudity and a lot more crowded. This prompt is by katnissisepic: _maybe you could do the prom moment when Blaine has no hair gel, and Niff sing Hair (by Lady Gaga or from the musical, either would work). _Thank you, my lovlies, for all the reviews! *Awkward prom queen wave***

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><p>Kurt tapped his foot anxiously. He had been waiting for Blaine to come out of the bathroom for more than ten minutes. How much hair gel does the have up there? Kurt thought.<p>

All of a sudden, a girl in a (hideous) purple dress gasped, as did the girl next to her, and the person next to her, and so on. Kurt wondered if Brittany actually had dinosaurs wandering around the gym.

Kurt was seriously prepared to beat a T-rex with his fabulous top hat when a short boy with poofy hair approached him.

Wait.

Was that...

"Oh my dear God!" Kurt exclaimed. Blaine looked down at his feet.

"Is it really that bad?" For once, the dapperness of Blaine was gone, and in his place was a person that looked very similar to Darren Criss.

"It's not... It's not..." Kurt fumbled for the right word to use.

"It is, isn't it," Blaine looked like he was about to cry.

"Wait!" Shouted the girl with the horrible purple dress. Blaine's head shot up. He knew that voice...

"Is that..." Kurt trailed off, horrified. Blaine nodded mutely.

From their other side, a girl in a duct tape prom dress ran towards them carrying Jeff's ukulele. Wait, Kurt thought. That's not a girl, either...

Sure enough, Nick was dressed in the world's ugliest purple prom dress, and had a braided wig on his head.

Jeff's prom dress, on the other hand, wasn't actually that bad. Despite being made out of duct tape, it complimented his eyes and suited his body type. Green really was his color.

Jeff started strumming his ukulele. Great for him, but not so good for everyone else, there was no music playing at that current moment.

Nick started singing, trying not to fall in his horrible yellow heels.

_"Whenever I'm dressed cool  
>My parents put up a fight<br>And if I'm hot shot_  
><em>Mom will cut my hair at night,"<em>

Nick was having a hard time singing loudly because his dress was making it impossible for him to breathe in properly. He knew he shouldn't have eaten that hamburger...

_"And in the morning  
>I'm short of my identity<br>I scream Mom and Dad  
>Why can't I be who I wanna be?"<em>Jeff put the ukulele down and started dancing swing with Nick.

_"I just wanna be myself  
>And I want you to love me for who I am<br>I just wanna be myself  
>And I want you to know, I am my hair,"<em>

Blaine knew that they had picked this song for the hair part of it (how had they known this was going to happen, anyway?), but this song had a deeper meaning than that to him and Kurt.

_"I've had enough, this is my prayer  
>That I'll die livin' just as free as my hair<br>I've had enough, this is my prayer  
>That I'll die livin' just as free as my hair,"<em>

Nick picked up the ukulele and started strumming it, while Jeff flung his hair abound in a way that reminded Kurt of hairography.

_"I've had enough, I'm not a freak  
>I just keep fightin' to stay cool on the streets<br>I've had enough, enough, enough  
>And this is my prayer, I swear<br>I'm as free as my hair  
>I'm a free as my hair<br>I am my hair  
>I am my hair,"<br>_  
>All of a sudden, four more boys in prom dresses came out and started making backup vocals. Only the Warblers would be willing to dress up like girls just to serenade Kurt and Blaine.<p>

Kurt had to admit that Trent's makeup was fabulous. Wes, David, and Thad, on the other hand, looked like they had done their makeup in the dark.

_"Free as my hair, hair, hair  
>Hair, hair, ha-ha-ha-hair<em>  
><em>Hair, hair, hair<br>Hair, hair, ha-ha-ha-hair,"_all the Warblers sang. David and Wes were dancing cha-cha, while Thad and Trent seemed to be doing a cross between a foxtrot and a waltz.

_"Sometimes I want some raccoons  
>Or red highlights<br>Just because I want my friends  
>To think I'm dynamite,"<em>Wes fell on top of David, obviously not used to his four inch heels, and they fell to the floor. However, they kept singing.

_"And on Friday rock city  
>High school dance<br>I got my bangs to hide  
>That I don't stand a chance, a chance,"<em>Kurt vaguely thought of the bangs he had in sophomore year.

_"I'm as free as my hair  
>I'm as free as my hair<br>I am my hair, I am my hair  
>Ooh I'm my hair, I'm my hair,"<em>the four backup singers ran out as fast as they could, and Jeff ran to grab his ukulele from Nick.

Before they could go anywhere, though, a furious Sue Sylvester grabbed them by the scruff of their necks.

"Oh, no you don't, Luna Lovegood. You too, Dolly Parton!"

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><p><strong>Song is Hair by Lady Gaga. Challenge: What did Wes, David, Thad, and Trent's prom dresses look like?<br>**


	25. Blaine's Realization

**Has anybody noticed the new _Image Manager _thingamahoozer? If you would be willing to make a book cover for this story, since I am the worst photoshopper in history, can you PM or review me?**

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><p>It was a regular day at Warbler's practice.<p>

Wes had made the notion to ban ice cream, yogurt, butter, and all other delicious dairy products from the Warblers' diets because of the extra mucus it produced, while Nick tried to prevent Jeff from strangling Wes or himself and Blaine attempted to slowly slide the gavel off the desk into his backpack. Wes, noticing Blaine's hands on his table, grabbed Teresa (the gavel) and smacked the lead singer's fingers.

"Where's Kurt?" Trent asked to no one in particular, but nobody really heard him over the sound of warbling and gavel abuse. Blaine looked up, cradling his bruising fingers, and looked around for the counter tenor. Sure enough, he was nowhere to be found.

"Guys!" Blaine said. "GUYS!" Everyone went silent. "Where is Kurt?"

Everyone else looked around. "Probably fixing his hair," someone in the back muttered.

Just then, Kurt burst into the room wearing a (fabulous) black outfit. He seemed to be crying.

Wes looked as if he was going to reprimand Kurt for his lack of uniform, but Blaine sent him a death-glare. "Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine asked, concerned.

Kurt sniffed, wiping his eye. "It's Pavoratti. Pavoratti is dead. I suspect a stroke." The Warblers gasped.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry," Blaine said.

"I know it seems silly to be upset over a dead bird, but he wasn't only a pet, he was also a friend. Which is why I would like to dedicate a song to him." He handed Trent a cassette tape, who then inserted it into a cassette player.

_How on earth did Kurt get a hold of a cassette tape? _Jeff wondered, as Nick thought: _Why do we just happen to have a cassette player lying around?_

Kurt began singing Blackbird, which, Jeff had to admit, was a perfect song for the situation. Halfway through the song, Nick and Jeff noticed that Blaine had his lovesick face on again. Only this time, it was really, really intense.

Nick elbowed Jeff. "I think Blaine is finally realizing his feelings for Kurt!" he whispered, excited. Jeff grinned.

Finally, Kurt ended his song with a quiet _thank you _and left the room, wiping his eyes.

Jeff and Nick quickly stood up, pulling their trusty ukulele from behind a potted plant. Jeff strummed, while Nick sang.

_"I can't fight this feeling any longer._  
><em>And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow. <em>

_What started out as friendship, _  
><em>Has grown stronger. <em>  
><em>I only wish I had the strength to let it show."<em>

All of the Warblers were watching them, so Nick pointed at Blaine to let everyone know they were singing to him. They immediately understood, having grown used to all the Klaine-related serenades.

_"Is this love that I'm feeling_  
><em> Is this the love that I've been searching for<em>

_ Is this love or am I dreaming_  
><em> This must be love<em>

_ 'Cause it's really got a hold on me_  
><em>A hold on me."<em>

Nick and Jeff danced around Blaine pointing and winking and wiggling their eyebrows whenever they could. Blaine turned very red.

_"I think I love you._  
><em> So what am I so afraid of?<br>_  
><em> I'm afraid that I'm now sure of<em>  
><em>A love there is no cure for." <em>

Jeff sang and strummed the ukulele. All the songs they had mashed up for this moment had very different melodies, and made it a challenging piece to play on any instrument.

_"Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore. _  
><em>I've forgotten what I started fighting for. <em>

_And if I have to crawl upon the floor, _  
><em>Come crushing through your door, <em>  
><em>Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore."<em>

Jeff put down the ukulele and started dancing samba with Nick. David, a partner dance expert, was confused, because their song did not have a samba rhythm to it. In fact, it was about as anti-samba as you could be.

_"I think I love you._  
><em> Isn't that what life is made of?<em>

_ Though it worries me to say_  
><em>That I've never felt this way."<em>

Nick and Jeff broke away from each other. Jeff went to grab the ukulele, but noticed that that Warblers (minus Blaine) had been singing back-up vocals, so he left it on the couch. Everybody that knew the lyrics sang the last verse.

_"I can't stop the feeling_  
><em> I've been this way before<em>

_ But, with you I've found the key_  
><em> To open any door<em>

_ I can feel my love for you_  
><em> Growing stronger day by day<em>

_ An' I can't wait too see you again_  
><em> So I can hold you in my arms."<em>

__Nick and Jeff took a bow and ran out of the room. Blaine, tomato-red with humiliation, grabbed his backpack and fled. Wes reached to his right, ready to dismiss practice, when he noticed something was missing.

"WHO TOOK MY GAVEL?"

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Glee (Ryan Murphy), Is This Love (Whitesnake), Can't Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon), or I think I love You (David Cassidy).<br>**

**Prompt Me!  
><strong>

**Trivia: Who took Wes's Gavel?  
><strong>

**Has anybody noticed the new _Image Manager _thingamahoozer? If you would be willing to make a book cover for this story, since I am the worst photoshopper in history, can you PM or review me?  
><strong>

**Also, does anybody know if you can post a story on Archive Of Our Own, Scarves and Coffee,and , or on only one?  
><strong>


	26. Too Sexy

**ARGH! I'm sooo, sooo sorry about the update time! I think that's an all time low for me. *frowny face* I would give you an exuse, as always, but I don't really have one... Also, this one is soooo short. My eternal apologies.  
><strong>

**This song is "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this chapter.  
><strong>

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><p>"How about this?" said Blaine as he spun around during glee practice, doing a boy-band-ish turn. Kurt smiled at his adorkable boyfriend. Sometimes he couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have Blaine, as opposed to some jerk like the Evil Chipmunk *cough* Sebatian.<p>

"Cute!" He said, winking. Blaine turned to give him a grin.

Suddenly, Sam burst in front of Blaine. "I think this would work better," he interrupted rudely, doing some pelvic-centered body rolls. Blaine and Kurt frowned in unison.

_That seems a little… racy for Sectionals, _Blaine thought, picturing Kurt and himself humping the air during 'ABC'. While he would gladly watch Kurt do that anytime, he thought it might be a little ridiculous for a show choir performance.

"No, that wouldn't work," Blaine said, a little angry. He moved forward a bit.

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><p>"Is everything ready, Jeffy-pie?" Nick asked, mockingly batting his eyelashes flirtatiously.<p>

"Yep, almost!" Jeff said, then paused. "Jeffy-pie?" Nick winked. "If you call me Jeffy-pie one more time-"

"I know, I know," Nick butted in. "You'll buy me a puppy and make me fall in love with it and on a dark stormy night you will sneak into my house and punch me in the face."

Jeff frowned. "How did you know what I was going to say?"

Nick grinned. "You're not the only one who watches Sue's Corner." He peeked into the choir room. "Crap, we almost missed out cue. Come on!"

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><p>"Why, Blaine? What do you mean? Are you afraid you aren't hot enough for the judges?" Sam sneered.<p>

Blaine stepped closer, almost in Sam's face. "It means I'm not for sale," he growled. Sam looked like he were about to shove Blaine into the next dimension, when all of a sudden two men dressed in a bunch of layers burst into the room.

"Hit it!" the blonde one yelled to the jazz band. Kurt and Blaine's head snapped up. They knew that voice.

Music started playing, and Nick began singing.

_"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love_  
><em>Love's going to leave me,"<em> he sang deeply, slowly (and possibly sexily) stripping off his parka.

_"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt_  
><em>So sexy it hurts,"<em> Jeff sang, lower than Nick, taking off his winter coat… _ slowly_…

_"And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan_  
><em>Dalton, Lima, Japan,"<em> Nick sang, imitating Sam's previous body rolls while removing his sweater. Sam raised an eyebrow, glancing at Kurt and Blaine who sat with their heads in their arms.

_"And I'm too sexy for your party_  
><em>Too sexy for your party<em>  
><em>No way I'm disco dancing,"<em> Nick and Jeff growled together, taking off their next layers. They began disco dancing in a very smoldery and sexy manner. Sugar licked her lips.

_"I'm a model you know what I mean_  
><em>And I do my little turn on the catwalk<em>

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_  
><em>I do my little turn on the catwalk,<em>" Jeff sang, taking off his t-shirt, leaving only a tight-fitted tank top on underneath.

_"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car_  
><em>Too sexy by far,"<em> Nick whipped off his bright pink tank top, revealing a very, very pale one-pack.

_"And I'm too sexy for my hat_  
><em>Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that,"<em> Jeff took off his fedora and threw it at the cluster of girls in the corner. They whistled at him, blushing.

_"I'm a model you know what I mean_  
><em>And I do my little turn on the catwalk<em>

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_  
><em>I shake my little tushie on the catwalk,"<em> they harmonized, Nick ripping off his pants (literally) and Jeff ripping his tank top down the middle. The girls whistled at him again, for his six-pack was — in Nick's words — a chick-and-dude magnet.

_"And I'm too sexy for this song,"_ they finished. Jeff ripped his pants off (it had taken him and Nick three hours to find decent stripper-pants) and they ran out of the room.

Not before listening to the raging applause by the girls, who ran up to them and shoved money down their undies.

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><p>"Why do you think they gave us so much applause this time? Normally people just glare at us." Jeff pointed out, pulling a five dollar bill out of his Captain America briefs.<p>

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. Because of the layers?"

Jeff grinned. "Because of the layers."

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><p><strong>Please review. Or, if you prefer, glance at the review box for a second before stealthily pressing the back buttom. Your choice, although I prefer the former.<br>**

**Bonus question: We all know that Jeff is wearing Captain America underwear. What kind of underwear was Nick wearing?  
><strong>


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